Unlike the rest of us, Sarah had never experienced the joys of Festivus, so, we began our journey into the pointless misadventures of Seinfeld.
For those that don’t know, Jerry Seinfeld usually had a new love interest in each episode, but after a few seasons of watching this sex-crazed comedian hook-up and reject every woman in the, “whites only” part of New York, I began to notice something very strange.
Even on their first appearance, most of his dates seemed way too familiar with Jerry, his apartment and belongings, sometimes even referring to Jerry’s unusual quirks as if they had been dating for years. Like everyone else, I assumed that there was an off-screen getting to know you period, but how much can you really learn about someone in a week?
I know this sounds silly, but the only gaps that were longer than a week were between seasons and they made a point of showing us how much time had passed, sometimes even with flashbacks. Elaine also confirmed this timeline by claiming that Jerry breaks up with a new girl each week.
As we continued further into the series, each of these overly-familiar weekly-women began to act even more possessive and bizarre than the last, until we finally met Gwen, a two-faced woman, who was literally shapeshifting the entire episode.
Now, I don’t think that this was a one time occurrence, I think that all of these women were actually the same person, shapeshifting from episode to episode attempting to win Jerry’s affections, but with each shift came a new flaw, one that would ultimately end their relationship.
The origins of this woman are unknown, she could’ve been a natural shapeshifter and a jilted lover from Jerry’s past, who’s obsessed with getting him back, but I think something more sinister might be happening.
I think she’s actually Jerry’s soulmate who was suffering from a curse.
We all know that Newman’s birthday wishes had the power to either conjure up a supermodel or make his girlfriend appear to be a supermodel, so, it stands to reason that he could also use these wishes to make someone appear very flawed. So, with Newman’s contempt for Jerry, I think he may have intercepted Jerry’s soulmate, long ago, and made a very spiteful wish.
It’s no secret that Jerry is extremely shallow, unwilling to accept anyone who is not perfect, so, it stands to reason, behind the flaws, Jerry’s soulmate was actually his version of the perfect woman. Unfortunately, he was unable look beyond the flaws and he rejected her, but since she was his soulmate, the universe gave her another chance, and another, only to be rejected again and again.
This cycle continued, with Newman relishing every minute of Jerry’s misery.
Then, during the season of Festivus, for a few brief moments the curse was lifted, allowing Jerry to view her real persona, Gwen, but this didn’t last for long. The entire episode she was shapeshifting back and fourth, completely unaware that this was happening, only to be rejected again.
I think that this curse was meant to be broken, with Jerry looking beyond the flaws to accept her for who she really is and then she would have magically turned into Gwen, his perfect woman.
Ultimately, I feel like the story of Seinfeld is a tragic one, that could have easily been avoided if he overcame his pursuit for perfection.
Let me know what you think below and if you share this on any other social media, please post a link, so I can follow the conversation.
