There is a heavy fog that settles when the gap between who we want to be and what we can actually achieve becomes too wide. We call it "laziness" because that is the easiest word to throw at ourselves, but often, it is actually the paralysis of a heart that wants to do its best and realizes it cannot. We are buried under the weight of "not enough time" and "not enough strength," standing still not because we don't care, but because we are suffocating under the pressure of our own expectations.

Under the Weight of 'Not Enough'

I have a vision of who I could be,

A version of "best" that is light and is free.

But the hours are water that slips through my hands,

While I’m sinking deep in the shifting sands.

They call it a choice, this stillness, this rust,

As my brightest intentions are covered in dust.

But how can I run when the air is so thin?

And the battle is lost before I begin?

I’m buried in "later," I’m buried in "slow,"

With a mountain of things that I still have to know.

It’s not that I’m idle, or love to be still,

It’s the weight of the world pressing down on my will.

I want to be perfect, to reach for the sun,

But I’m tired of counting the things I haven't done.

I’m paralyzed here in the thick of the fray,

Watching the moments all bleeding away.

So I’ll start with a breath, just one tiny spark,

To find my way out of this heavy, cold dark.

For "best" isn't measured by all that I do,

But the grace that I show when I’m starting anew.

Forgive yourself for the minutes you "wasted" while your mind was trying to survive the overwhelm. Being buried doesn't mean you are finished; it just means you have to dig your way out one small handful of dirt at a time. You don't have to be perfect today—you just have to be kind to the person who is trying their hardest in a world that never stops demanding more.