Here's a question that we encounter throughout all stages of life. It's appropriate nearly everywhere, except for right here. You don't need to ask permission to post on HIVE, and yes, you do have to go for it!
Ok, maybe if you're underage your parents do require you to ask permission before posting on HIVE. That actually leads right into some of our first encounters with the question at hand.
We Have A Funny Way Of Deciding When To Ask Permission When We're Young
You know exactly what I mean, don't you? Get your dirty little paws out of that cookie jar!! The cutest is when they're real young and ask questions like, "Mama! Can I go poddy? I gotta make poo-poos".
Yea, let me help you with that so I don't wind up with a 45 minute clean up session!
Did you ask if it was okay when you played with those matches? No. Because you knew what the answer would be. Your dad would've smacked you upside the head and asked if you had lost your mind. At least he would have back in my day!
Somewhere along the way, most of us start to see the value in not only asking permission but also knowing when it's appropriate. Which brings us to another stage of maturity and right into the next topic.
The Employee To Boss Relationship
Authority vs subordinate or experienced vs greenhorn. There are plenty of roles that revolve around the same sort of relationship. Someone's in charge while it's the others job to carry out their vision.
As we mature and under quality leadership, we learn that our own vision ought to be part of the greater goal. Our input as individuals is key to the success of any operation. But our self expression does have boundaries. It's especially important to have some leadership skills when a figure of authority delegates their power to someone who's a subordinate.
There are times when we do need to ask permission, perhaps if only out of respect. This could be towards an elder or an equal alike. Borrowing something is a good time to ask permission. You don't want anyone to think you're stealing.
Showing Initiative & Handling Rewards
Showing initiative as an employee is highly encouraged by most leaders. That doesn't mean it can't come with its own set of difficulties.
You busted your butt at work and took care of things not even your boss knew were an issue. It becomes a regular role you play at work but after 6 months another employee gets the promotion.
It's obvious to you that they haven't put in half the effort or energy into the work as you have. How do you handle this? Now we've reached a whole new level of maturity in this walk we call life.
Humility is a valiant trait and one to be applauded, but keeping quiet isn't always the best approach. As adults, it's important to know when to speak up for ourselves. You can go even further by learning how to do that in a manner that doesn't belittle another.
The Toxic Requestor
Another vital experience to learn sooner than later, is how to avoid the toxic requestor. What's that? It's someone who manipulates a situation, often by misusing their authority.
Such sociopathic people often use permission as a tool for denouncing others. "Why didn't you ask me before you did that"? This could a reasonable question if you really messed up on the job. It could also be a derision with no other intention but to insult.
When we're young, we can't always avoid toxic people. Some of us, to greater and lesser extents, are raised by such humans. We can spend years trying to absolve ourselves from the past. At some point, another level of life's lessons is reached.
It's at this point of maturity that we let go of so much baggage from our own history. We don't let go of everything cause we can't forget our past. But we can stop using it as an excuse for self pity or a crutch that holds us back from creating our own vision.
It's not easy and it's even harder to try to do it without help. Asking another person for help with a personal problem is another step altogether. That can be one of the toughest types of permission we ever have to request. And a topic for another post entirely.
Thanks for reading and as always...
Happy Hiveing!!!
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