PICTURE OF MY MOM AT 67: IMAGE CREDIT IS MINE
Aging is characterized by certain physical features such as gray hairs, weakness or loss of agility, curvature of the back bones from the usual straight ones we are familiar with, deterioration of sight and memory, loss of dentition, wrinkles, loss of weight, etc., or we could say aging leads to another end point of a line, whereas we can look at it as a reversal to baby mode after some degree of maturity has been attained. In both scenarios, we may be correct when we view the other side of aging.
Premature aging does occur and comes with the attainment of features earlier described above in a rather faster or quicker timeframe. And yes, there is progeria, which is an uncommon and rare rapid aging process noticed in childhood.
It is, however, unlikely that children would age faster than parents. It is the prayer of parents that their children will outlive them. Aging can be affected by our lifestyle or the foods we eat. Some people age faster; an example is people engaged in strenuous activities or hard labor. You may have heard the saying, AGE GRACEFULLY." You are likely to see those that age gracefully to maintain a good body physique, attractive gray hair that is well kept, and reasonable agility even after the age of eighty.
THE ELDERLY
Elderly people are likely to be retiring from active services. They are often subjected to what is termed 'empty nest syndrome, where the couple reverts to living alone without the presence of children or loved ones. Part of the deterioration among the elderly is the loss of agility, which makes them slower at achieving set goals. There are very many things to say about the elderly, but I will pick on them randomly.
Hormonal changes, such as hot flushes, are common among elderly women. They feel a hot sensation rise within their bodies or abdomens. The reduction of estrogen, which aids bone strength, is also reduced, and older people are more susceptible to fractures or bone pains.
Dementia and amnesia are common features seen among the elderly. This could be short-term or long-term memory loss and could be accompanying symptoms of diseases common to old age, such as Alzheimer's disease. A specialist should be consulted when these symptoms begin to arise.
Deterioration of health conditions is common as body organs begin to lose vigor and strength. Over time, these organs may have been predisposed to traumas and assaults, such as toxins from processed meals or drugs consumed. You will agree with me that wear and tear happens over time, and so organs also experience such. This is where dietary lifestyle for the elderly is important; hopefully, a geriatric specialist and nutritionist would better serve the elderly in this regard. Remember that there's a chance they lose part of their dentition, and chewing hard meat may be a problem. Other medical conditions common to the elderly are hypertension and diabetes, which can be life-threatening if not taken care of early enough.
The behavioral demands of the elderly can be cumbersome. The elderly can want different things at short intervals and may be obstinate in their thinking. Yes, they could be stubborn about life's views or demands. My dad is over eighty, and my mom is almost seventy. They have different views of life they were exposed to in their early generations compared to that which is in vogue. There is a tendency for conflict to arise between both parties. A reminder for us is that they are like babies right now, and patience is the virtue we must imbibe. I have attended to elderly people at home who declined to visit the hospital despite the pleas and interventions of their children.
One of the difficult moments we can have with the elderly is when they are sick or incapacitated, and we have to take care of their feeding, urination, and even defecation. It's often very challenging, and having to balance life's pursuits with theirs has a high tendency to weigh us down.
Regret is one major feature the elderly have. Regret usually comes with a lot of restraint and a wish for a reversal of time. Unfortunately, the deed is done, and only restitutions are possible or feasible. Many times, children hold grudges against their parents, probably because the parents did not live up to the children's expectations. I will not trade blame, but I will advise and counsel forgiveness. This will launch me into the next subtopic, which is our roles and responsibilities as children.
CHILDREN'S ROLES AND RESPONSIBILITIES
Every child has a role or responsibility towards their parents. The roles are totally different from doing them favors. No matter how much we may be hurt by the elderly, there are some goods they have done to us that we cannot repay; time lost cannot be redeemed. Parents may have made wrong decisions or not have contributed to our success, but all of that does not hinder us from being responsible children. Taking care of the elderly or their parents is a responsibility, not a favor that we are doing them. This means, irrespective of whether they deserve our responsibilities or not, we should release our resources and time to take care of them.
We do not have to extremely inconvenience ourselves to do that, but we should satisfy our conscience with what we can do for them. In 2021, I installed a solar and inverter system at the family house to ensure there's always a power supply. Recently, I had to procure a new inverter after the previous one packed up. For a month, they were without a constant power supply. Thankfully, I got it sorted out early in November, and even right now, they are enjoying the supply of electricity into the house when the government supply is unavailable or epileptic. A TV subscription to keep their eyes feasted becomes valuable as they get to laugh often. This does not mean I do not have to listen to jokes from them or narrations they have mentioned earlier. Sometimes, they just need to know you are there for them.
Perhaps I should ask when we last sent our elderly parents some money or airtime for upkeep. Send them data so they can watch interesting reels. My mom sends messages or videos on WhatsApp to people that consume lots of data, even when I do not see much relevance in them. Accept and love them as they are.
I remember when my mom used to receive her salary. I always knew a share was coming to me. When last have we returned similar gestures, and even if not regularly? I developed the habit of buying my mom a pack of Hollandia yogurt, which costs N9,000 as of two weeks ago. I know she likes Hollandia, especially when it's chilled. We do not have to go out of our way to make them comfortable, but we are encouraged to do our best as we cannot repay them.
JUST AFTER DRAFTING THIS POST, I SAW MY MOM FELLING THIS TREE WITH A CUTLASS
MY MOM WAS DONE WITH THE TREE IN MINUTES
HERE'S ME WRAPPING UP: BETTER LATE THAN NEVER
Keep your parents in check. As a health insurance organization staff member in Nigeria, you can register three people under the National Health Insurance Authority (NHIA) via the GIFSHIP package for a token of N45,000 annually. This is one way to enable the elderly to have access to quality healthcare, as they are likely to need it more than even us. A regular checkup would not be out of place, so as to identify and tackle disease conditions at an early stage. The elderly would likely not want to sit in one place; my dad wishes to even run, and my mom still wants to prepare meals for me even after doing some home chores. We should not discourage them but caution them when we realize the work they are engaged in will further labor them. You can set up a small farm or poultry farm for them to keep them busy. It will be good if you can provide them with an orthopedic or semi-orthopaedic mattress and chairs with straight backs. A good massager should be procured for the elderly if you can afford it.
MASSAGER PROCURED FOR MOM
Spending time with them may be difficult as we are often carried away with life's activities, but we should endeavor to put calls through to them regularly. Video calls will not be bad, either. If we, as children, can have trusted caregivers contract for them, it will be good. If we can also put CCTV in their homes, it may not be a bad idea. Also, let us avoid slippery slopes and tiles as they grow older; many accidents have been reported from falls by the elderly.
I wish I could continue talking, but permit me to wrap up here. Aging can be beautiful when the environment is friendly. We should support the elderly as they undergo this stage that we will someday pass through.
Thank you for reading. I would love to have your comments and contributions.
ALL IMAGES ARE MINE