Are You Ready To Have A Child? Knowing When To Have A Child
Whether a couple wants a first, second, or third child usually does not depend on just one factor. There are usually several reasons to choose against or for a child. It is most difficult for couples when the desire to have children remains unfulfilled. Unlike in the past, it is no longer a matter of securing the family's livelihood or one's own retirement with offspring. Today, the decision for or against children is based more on psychological factors.
Many couples want to have the experience of being parents. You want to see a child grow up, explore the world through children's eyes, and discover the essentials in life. Some people are more hesitant when it comes to choosing young people. If there is no desire to have children with a partner, this is probably simply the wrong choice for someone who longs for a child.
When is the right time to have children
For most couples, the desire to have children arises when they feel exhausted, the job is going well and the material basis is in place. A stable relationship is a prerequisite for 73 percent of men and 61 percent of women to choose a child.
Whoever puts a child into the world binds for a long time. A conscious yes is therefore almost like a marriage vow. No wonder that some couples see a baby as the culmination of their love. Parents often even report that they feel freshly in love after birth. Lone fighters become a family, a team. And children change relationships with other people like their own parents.
If the foundation is not right, a relationship breaks down sooner or later despite the child. Many parents initially experience children as a burden for the partnership. For example, fathers report that they felt excluded when their children were young. Children not only bring happiness into the house but often also lack of time and sleep, as well as arguments about education. It is a well-known fact among marriage counselors that sex life suffers considerably among young children.
The desire to have children often becomes a test of patience. If you agree on a yes to wanting to have children, it can still take many months before you get pregnant. However, doctors only speak of a disorder requiring treatment after one year of unsuccessful trying.
The unfulfilled desire to have children often becomes a test of patience for a very simple reason, couples often do not know exactly in which section of the female cycle there are the best chances of having a child. Often women first have to learn to recognize body signals such as changes in vaginal secretions or fluctuations in body temperature and thus the fertile days. The doctor will therefore usually ask his patient whether she has sexual intercourse around the time of ovulation before starting to look more closely at the causes of childlessness.
Women report that they became pregnant after the pressure to succeed had subsided and they had turned to new life plans. As an explanation, doctors see that pronounced stress and pressure to succeed negatively affect the body's hormone production and fertility.
Partner massages are good for letting go and rewarding for love life. The mutual touches give peace and security and prevent pressure to succeed. They can also stimulate sexual desire. Slow rubbing, gentle kneading, and vibration can relieve tension, stimulate metabolism, and promote blood circulation.
The burden of unfulfilled desire to have children
If the diagnosis of fertility disorder requiring treatment stands in the way, the unfulfilled desire to have children no longer has anything to do with a test of patience. In this case, the gynecologist will ask both partners to consult you. In the past, doctors only examined women. It is true, however, that the disturbances can be the same as for women. To a very small percentage, physical triggers can be found on both sides at the same time, and in a further ten percent of cases, there is no clear medical reason for infertility.
The level of suffering for couples with an unfulfilled desire to have children is often great at first. That is why more and more people are taking advantage of modern offers to fulfill their wish for a child.
But if that doesn't work, the couples will be able to cope better with it than previously thought. They will set other goals instead of lingering for a lifetime. The decisive step for successfully coping with childlessness is to develop new life concepts that also promise fulfillment. Not having a child has to mean a life without children. There is, for example, the possibility of taking one.
Single Parents
Father, mother, child this classic constellation is rarer today than it used to be, there are more and more single parents or cohabitation with children. The number of women who want a baby without a partner from the start is also increasing. A common reason, the biological clock is ticking, but no suitable partner is in sight.
But how does a woman get a child without a man? A question that lesbians have known answers for a long time. Some looked for private sperm donors and carried out the fertilization themselves or with the help of a doctor. Others draw sperm from semen banks. Many women, therefore, travel to other places. In the case of private sperm donors, it is advised to examine the semen for communicable infections such as HIV, hepatitis B and C, chlamydia and gonococci and to have the sperm quality checked.
Regardless of whether consciously or involuntarily, if you have a child without a partner, you have to organize your everyday life well, take care of adequate childcare at an early stage and build a social network. The association of single mothers and fathers advises pregnant women without a partner to visit an advice center as early as possible. There is help with financial and other questions. Besides, contacts with other single pregnant women and single parents can be made.
Some doesn't want to have a child
Youngsters are not necessary for happiness in life. And this is also corroborated by a study, couples without children are no longer sicker or healthier, no longer suffer from psychosomatic disorders, depressive moods or other illnesses than parents. Regardless of whether a couple has children or not, women and men should cultivate their partnership and not concentrate solely on their children or the desire to have children.
According to the findings of psychologists, those couples who are best able to cope with their childlessness are those who either consciously decided against the offspring or who accepted their childlessness as fate due to infertility. By contrast, brooding or feelings of guilt have a negative effect. Couples also suffer particularly when they have deeply internalized social patterns, the man, for example, wants a trunk holder to bend and break or the woman does not feel full without children.