Where do you draw the line between a modest person and a hypocrite. “ Modesty is the highest form of elegance” versus “ I’d rather be an honest sinner rather than a hypocrite”- this two are the most probable quotes you have heard regarding modesty and hypocrisy. While modesty has greatly changed through the generations , hypocrisy is quite unchanged. Both are however opinions relative to an individual’s convictions. What is modesty to one may seem like hypocrisy to another.
While is a very admirable trait the other is a very abhorred one. Then it becomes paramount to be able to know where you stand even in the eyes of others. Let us demystify the two.
Modesty is formally defined as behavior intended to avoid impropriety and indecency. Like putting on extra clothing to avoid showing too much skin, avoiding lucid dances in public or not using offensive words in formal settings and in front of elder people. The list is much much longer. Probably everything that is considered traditional and retrogressive. You could probably even say it is everything that doesn’t seem cool now.
Practically speaking, modesty is simply hiding the inappropriate behavior without denying the possibility of it being part of us in a bid to amend it. It is an effort to act according to the virtuous inclinations of the heart rather than those of the flesh. We all probably crave cool stuff, but we don’t always do it. Partly because of the setting and maybe we have principals. A perfect example would be ogling. With a group of peers, ogling is most likely the cool and normal thing to do and even so, happens naturally. However, not ogling bearing in mind that the victim’s dignity is being gnawed and that it is disrespectful, is modesty. Now I feel you agreeing that it involves hiding our misled behavior without denying that it exists.
In ancient likening, it can quite be described as a royal trait taught to the elite of the society so as to govern their relations and conserve their ties. Who then wouldn’t want a kingly trait? While it is almost impossible to believe that it could happen, the bitter truth is that the general population, indiscriminate of age and status but with the exception of only a fraction lack the trait. Our streets are crowded with indecency. Everyone is up and about their shameful acts unashamed. Even worse is that the society approves them, not that they could disapprove as they are partakers of the same cup.
Modesty is an issue of the heart before all else. Modesty is not just an appearance, it is a way of life; a super-attractive one for that matter. It is the repeated correction of behavior in speech, dressing, conduct, belief and even thought. It is the bridge to peaceful co-existence. “ A gem among virtues and the only beauty that doesn’t die.”
Anyone that is modest:
Appears authentic and genuine to others and oneself
Has a deep conviction of unfounded acts.
Owns their actions.
Doesn’t over indulge in priding acts.
Values morals and tries to live morally.
Is probably graceful and attracted to gracefulness.
Hypocrisy on the other hand is formally defined as a false appearance of virtues while concealing real character and inclinations. It is pretending to have higher standards than one actually does. It is a feigning to be what one is not contradicting the persona’s claims.
Simply put, hypocrisy is a façade to fool others concerning a person’s character. It involves lying about your behavior by pretending to be better behaved with no effort to change. While a thief steals and deceives, a hypocrite betrays and swindles. You notice that in betrayal there is a false personality that jumps you over. While in modesty one doesn’t profess what they believe, hypocrites profess what they don’t practice. No real conviction accompanies the claims. A perfect example would be political leaders being very emotional and pitiful to societal problems and formulating very convincing proposals and manifestos yet they do nothing once in power. No strong belief binds their agreement….ooh it was all just a charade, another act that fooled you. Better yet is a friend who promises to be by your side always or a lover who claims uncontestable and dying love towards you yet they immediately change sides when you are in trouble and are the first ones to point an accusing finger. Shouldn’t the concern and affection they showed stand rather than washing your robe in public? Of course unless you were a hypocrite first. Hypocrites lie because they want to improve their image even when it is not necessary.
While hypocrisy is obviously a moral illness, according to a research conducted by Univesirty of South Califronia, there are three types of hypocrisy:
- Moral duplicity- this is the common form we are used to and from where we draw our definitions of hypocrisy. This is a contrivance of ones actions and their claims. People who most likely will not follow rules they put in place and are motivated to appear better than they are.
- Moral weakness- where the lying comes about as a natural inclination that happens subconsciously. This is basically lack of self- control but cannot be excused as the hypocrite doesn’t own up even after realizing they have faltered.
- Moral double standards- You know a person who excuses their mistakes as unavoidable, the kind that would tell a lie and justify the circumstances as compelling yet criticize another vehemently for a similar lie. Yes, that spiteful character.
Which is most offensive to you?
Here are a few pointers to hypocrites:
• Partiality when handling different people, usually by status.
• Very judgemental and intolerant.
• Living double lives.
• Strive to win acceptance from people.
• Self-serving and always aim to benefit themselves first.
• Victim-attitude in most scenarios.
• Imbalance between naturalness and simplicity of conduct.