Since our childhood, we have been hearing that you should be independent. Independent, not only in terms of finance, but in terms of every little thing in life. Like, doing all your chores by yourself, taking decisions regarding your life, learning the basic things which you require like driving, managing your finance, dealing with your health or relationship issues, and so on.
As we all keep hearing and seeing people talk about being independent, somewhere in our subconscious mind, we grow up and develop this nature of being independent. Slowly and gradually, as we grow up with this mindset, some of us become hyper independent in nature. I always felt that it’s really nice to be totally independent and work on your own, to handle and figure things out on your own.
But, recently I realised I have been rash and traumatising myself by thinking I don’t need anyone and having an “I can do it by myself” kind of behaviour. It basically means I don’t trust people and like the way they work and have become stubborn in certain ways. Like, I seek perfectionism and want things to be done my way. If I think about it practically, the things I call perfect from my perspective, might not be perfect for some other person and vice versa. And, I totally understand that everyone has different perspective of looking at things or getting things done. But, due to this hyper independent nature, I have developed certain kind of rigidness within myself, which directly or indirectly affects my mental health and relationships.
As I want to do all the work on my own, I take all the responsibility on my head. And, taking the responsibility more than you can handle certainly causes mental pressure which indeed affects your mental health in the future. Secondly, as we develop perfectionism, we are not satisfied by the work done by others, which directly affects our relationship.
Lately, I realised we all need people and we don’t have to take all the responsibilities. We can allocate the work and give them the authority to be incharge of it. And, sometimes, we need to let others figure out what and how the work is to be done.
Self independence doesn’t mean having an “I don't need anyone and I can do it by myself” kind of attitude. Be easy and kind to yourself.