At lost, but now starting to love thy self again.
The pandemic indeed had changed much of what we know and have been doing in the past. And the pandemic disables us to soar the things we want to achieve, which leads us to lose in our tracks and unable to move forward.
As a student, the saddest part of dreaming is to be told that you can't be pushed through. That you need to be stagnant for a moment and to wait for your time.
Honestly, it's a breaking story to see your parents break down into tears, telling you that you cannot pursue your dreams because taking the course is expensive.
And that they cannot send you out of the province to enter your dream university in the city.
What breaks more is that the thought that while others are enjoying, you we're left behind. Sulking and wanting to break free, but you can't.
At the moment, I asked them if they couldn't send me back to school, then I would wait. But clearly, deep inside, I've got a lot of what-ifs.
What if I was born with a silver spoon that I could pursue becoming a doctor. Like, I could share the same dream as my friends, and that we could all pass through collegiate life together.
At first, I was sad and saw them continuing with life, enjoying their goals. While at lost, regaining my back to track and wanted to hone my talents.
Then, I remember, I have written. I am a writer. For me, writing had been my gateway to this world, and I detached myself from reality while traveling the dimensions of possibilities.
The oppressed words we're turned into poems, later on, essays, then to stories-getting me back to the track.
I have searched everywhere where I could write at the same time help myself to achieve my dreams but still, I couldn't find it.
Then I met someone who introduced me to Web 3.0 and the ability to connect to many people. Finding the serenity I once lost and delving myself into a group of intellects with the same burdens inspires me to move forward.
People that made me smile again and bring calmness every time the world throws me on the verge of melting down.
These pictures illustrate my world—vast, fruitful, full of hope but sometimes uncertain in the complexity of the unknown.
Into the other world, I wanted to thrive because money is still a problem, and I still couldn't pursue what I wanted.
I still can't find joy even if I stop myself and regather everything I have to keep the light coming through the cave that obstructs my very opening of the real world.
As colors turn dark to colorful hues. Of how the dusk turns to dawn. The sunsets and sunrise.
It brought me the new beginning that I should not let go of those dreams that hones me to become the person I wanted to become.
To become the doctor who would want and help someday those kids who couldn't achieve their dreams. Because I know in myself that it took me a lot of courage to understand why I have to undergo such hideous experiences and disables me to reach my goals.
Indeed, money makes the world go round.
For I cannot even go back where I should be and fast track to chase my dreams.
At some point, I am ambitious to achieve financial stability at an early age. But then, circumstances inode me going anywhere.
My journey starts here with my written struggles. The strong voice keeps leading but remains unsaid to the world because it may break people apart.
I would want to take them as my vessel, and instead of making them into rhymes that could break people's hearts apart, they could be reasons to make people stand. To find joy, to never give up.
Now, the flowers bloom in the winter, and the rain pours in the summer. Everything is fast-paced, and I am here to tell you you're not alone.
If feeling down is not a choice, happiness is not always the most incredible feeling of all.
As dreamers, we will pass through obstacles that would want us to lose hope. To let ourselves crumble into the depths of a black hole. And to become ashamed because we are broken that we tend to walk away from people who understand us.
The journey of loving myself did not start from having the ability to gain power or authority. Or finding ways to lush myself find money to help me attain my goals because certainly- it's still something I cannot achieve. And being a doctor as my dream is still at stake.
Astakeinding quality education among public universities is still a problem. They require intellect and all, but still, we needed at least funds to survive the demanding world.
T to say is that those I had are not parred with how high, and significant your dreams are. I lost my track, and some as you. I blamed the odds of not having what others have, but I learned to let go.
If the time comes that I'll be able to fund my dreams, I'll let you guys know.
Dream big, dream high.
If you're lost, don't stop finding the light. Yours is more significant than mine, and you're not as disappointing as it seems. Believe me; you need to love yourself more than you please anybody.
If the world won't offer you anything you need, then go chase changes and make them give you what you deserve.
Love, you deserve everything good in this world. Never give up.
I wished we could all achieve our dreams and accumulate funds soon to make the world a better place for the next generation to live.
I will not shed tears again for reasons I cannot pursue what I want. But I will continue to write things that could motivate me along the way.
Thank you for reading the story of what life had been for me as a dreamer. Soon enough, I wish that these will come at my hands, near my grasp.