I Share This To Spread Mental Health Awareness.
Hello everyone 😊
This time I write a different thing and it’s quite difficult to write because it’s about something many people are not familiar. I want to disclose something deeply personal about my life. I hope through this writing many people will feel blessed and become more aware about mental health.
Since I was kid I used to face difficulties in my life and I didn't give up even my family and I had so many problems. Until 2019 my life was so good and maybe people see that my life is perfect. I have a good work, I'm doing ministry even become a leader for an organisation. I like it and I do enjoy my life.
I am trying to live my life pruductively. I become more discipline by manage my time better. I eat healthy food even do jogging and make sure to have enough sleep every day. I also do a self development by read 1 book every month. I really enjoy doing those things to maximize my life. But, on September last year I experienced something difficult to understand. for 1 month I couldn't sleep well, even though I could sleep, while I was slepping I had so many dreams and so many thoughts in my mind. It made me couldn't sleep well every night.
Another symptom I experience was loosing energy. Even still at the morning I felt so tired already. I didn't have motivation and energy to do my work. Consentration at work became so difficult. And the worst was I lost my appetite so I lost weight. Beside that my mood was terrible. Suddenly I felt very sad and depressed, I cried for very long time. My mind full of negative thing that coused desire to hurt my self or did suicide.
One month in this condition made me feel exhausted. I couldn't hendle it anymore, it must be something wrong with me. Then I decided to visit my doctor, she is a pretty and kind doctor. I was confused but she helped me to find out what I feel. Then she recomended me to see one of a psychiatrist to be treated well. That was my first time to see a psychiatrist. I feel confused and afraid. I decided to come alone because I felt shy if people will think that I'm crazy because I come to see a psychiatrist. But after I met him, actually the psychiatrist is really kind. While we talk he didn't judge me or made me feel on pressure. He is so friendly and he helps me on my recovery procces. At the beggining he diagnosed me with depression and he started giving me treatment to deal with my depression. I did counseling and drink some medicines. But after 2 months he found that my depression was only one of the symptoms, the main illness is I have bipolar disorder.
After he diagnosed me with bipolar disorder we started new treatment and different medication. It took more than 1 year until I can be stable and be able to live without those medicines. It was long journey and to be honest very difficult. Many times I felt desperate and want to give up. But I thank God for all people who supported me to get through those moments.
Before I experience this I didn't even know about mental disorders. But now I know it's really hard to live with mental disorder. Bipolar Disorder affect all parts of my life. It's not easy living with unpredictable mood like a roller coaster. I feel like living an unsure life. On my first 2 months having Bipolar Disorder I deniyed my condition. I didn't have reason to live anymore, it feels like I'm died already.
I share this because I want to spread awareness of the importance of mental health. I didn't know much about mental health in the past and only focused on my physical and spiritual health. Until I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I realized that I had not cared for my mental health. So for everyone, don't wait until you become sick like me. Take care of your mental health from now on. Do things that are fun for you to relieve stress. Don't hesitate to talk with your family, friends or mentors if you have a problem. Even if you have to talk to a psychologist it's a good thing, it's not strange or shows that you are weak.
In addition, I also want to encourage everyone out there who have been suffering in silence, hiding behind your smiles even though your soul struggles in pain. You are not alone, friend. I am the one who is struggling. Come out, get help. Don't close yourself from the help and love of those around you. Experiencing depression, anxiety disorders or other mental disorders is normal for our bodies just like catch a cold or suffer from fever. So it's only normal that we also need to see a doctor, seek help for our mental health. It doesn't mean that we do not believe or do not rely on God.
Thank you for reading and visiting my blog 😊
I would love to hear similar stories to share and strengthen. Or please let me know if you have questions, comments or input. Don't hesitate to write in the comments.
I will share more about bipolar disorder and my recovering journey on my next post. Follow me and wait for the Part 2 😊