Being highly empathetic means I will always struggle with feeling somewhat guilty as a result of being selfish choosing to be considerate of my feelings first rather than anyone else's.
And I know it may sound like I am endorsing narcissism but that is not the case, my point being living life according to other people's plans and expectations is rather not fulfilling but is the start of numerous pernicious mental sicknesses.
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I have had to learn to say no to people, no matter how hurt they will be, as it turns out it is not actually selfish but a form of self-care, for a healthy psychological state, one has to learn to make own decisions, living life according to own rules.
One of the highly acclaimed American writers of the 20th Century Joseph Campbell was among the many thinkers who went ahead to put forward profound wisdom on how to live a fulfilling and more successful life. His thoughts were that for one to achieve this, one must rather look within oneself, in order to discover what it is one truly wants from life, and henceforth go ahead and get it.
As he often said:
Follow your bliss.
But the price of following one's bliss is ignoring all the expectations others have on us, about what we should do and who we should be.
As he went further to explain in his book titled, The Hero's Journey, we are all unique beings, and thus the life we need to live in order to be fulfilled is wholly unique as we all are and should not be dictated by anyone else but us.
You enter the forest at the darkest point, where there is no path. Where there is a way or path, it is someone else’s path. You are not on your own path. If you follow someone else’s way, you are not going to realize your potential.
Joseph Campbell
The thing though is, even if many of us do actually agree with the above wisdom, many also do realize that it is quite hard to follow one's bliss, many choosing to live in ignorance of their bliss and instead follow the opinions and expectations dictated to them by their parents, friend and or society at large.
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But Campbell was not afraid of the struggle, choosing to live the gospel he preached to the fullest, as he explained in his book, he went on to quite his Ph.D. studies, deciding that they were not fulfilling his life in the way he wanted them to, choosing instead to live in the woods, doing nothing but reading books for five years:
I had put in all the hours necessary for the degree; all I had to do was write that goddamn thesis. They wouldn’t let me move into another place to continue my education, so I said to hell with it. I went up into the woods and spent five years reading. I never got a Ph.D. I learned to live on absolutely nothing. I was free and had no responsibilities. It was marvelous.
Joseph Campbell
Using words he used in the same book to summarize:
It takes courage to do what you want. Other people have a lot of plans for you. Nobody wants you to do what you want to do. They want you to go on their trip, but you can do what you want. I did. I went into the woods and read for five years.
Joseph Campbell
Making the decision to stop pleasing people by overly letting them control my actions is one of the best decisions that I have made so far in my young life.
I no longer feel the life being drained out of me.
I believe anyone can do it, I actually believe we all should do it.
Till the next update, keep spreading the love people! ❤❤
Stay magical. 🙌
Cheers!
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@peeterx