You will always view your life through the same lens if you don't allow yourself to learn and develop from the experience – from what was said, done, and felt. Understand this. What you do now matters more than what happened yesterday in many ways.
Being calm does not imply that there is no chaos, trouble, or difficult truths to face. Being calm is to be experiencing all of those things while maintaining your composure on a mental, emotional, and bodily level.
Breathe. Wherever you are, be. You've rebuilt yourself after being broken down numerous times. Consider how outstanding that is and how far you've come. Compared to a year ago, you have changed a lot.
Keep in mind that how others see and treat you is their problem, but how you react is your responsibility as you move forward. So never feel bad about being friendly and respectful to the wrong people. Your actions speak volumes about you, and their actions speak volumes about them.
Right now, the main objective is to progressively alter how you react to uncontrollable situations. To become more resilient on the inside so that almost nothing outside will be able to negatively impact your wellbeing and inner serenity without your knowledge.