The thing about unexpectedly expected changes is the unexpected part comes like a ton of bricks that leaves you reeling and disoriented.
I've been told to visit a close relative of mine who was hospitalized this past week. I did make a mental note to pay this person a visit last Thursday or Friday; both days have now passed, and somehow I couldn't go there because one series of events happened after another, making it nearly impossible to realize this visitation.
Looking back at it now, part of me wants to believe that it wasn't meant to be, in that some forces beyond my control conspired to prevent the visit, but another part clearly knows that I could've done better against all obstacles.
Unfortunately for me, I've just received the news that this person has now left the Earth, and I really don't know how or what to feel, or how to process this sudden finality.
Just like that, in a blink of an eye, I've missed the opportunity to see him alive one last time, perhaps indirectly say a proper goodbye and receive his blessings.
I even had a few plans for the near future that I wanted to run through him and hopefully have him also participate in bringing them to reality.
Now those plans are in shambles, may never see the light of day, or have to be reconstructed from scratch with different variables.
Whenever someone close and who I know of passes, I also tend to have this obligation of sorts that they left their torch on the way, and it's my turn to carry it forward to the best of my ability.
In reality, I think life is a never-ending journey in terms of the work that needs to be done to achieve one of the main objectives of life, which is evolution. Be it of people, ideas, values, principles, communities, etc.
The best I can do now (apart from participating on the funeral, of course!) is to make sure I keep his vision alive, remember many of the memories that I have of him, especially the knowledge nuggets that he taught me, and integrate his wisdom into the continuing path of my own life.
Hopefully, he's in a better place now, starting a new and different journey away from the hustle and bustle of physical life.
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