Don't you go flaunting your Canadian colors at me.

I don't wear red and white with a maple leaf like a corporate thief. I'd have to puke on it to change the colours, oh wait, no, never mind, it's all the colours of the rainbow so how about we just forget the whole color conundrum, drum it out the door?

Of course I had to mention maple syrup 'cause I know sugar maple's not a tree in the west you see so no, no real maple syrup for you unless you get it on the black market, but be careful of that, Maple Syrup Mafia doesn't look kindly on those with a small side business sugar shack.

maple syrup coconut trees exist?

No, at least I don't think so, but maybe I might be wrong but probably not.

So that you can burp-pop until you drop, here's how you can make it:

Pop popcorn in extra virgin coconut oil. Dump into bowl. Using same pot, pour in maple syrup and extra virgin coconut oil, more syrup than oil, eyeball it to your tastes, heat that and mix it together, throw some sea salt in with it (or add after), then pour that yummyness all over your popcorn. Then burp-pop until you drop from decandent deliciousness richness.