Recently my 7 year old nephew had an online class. It was the last class of this school year, so the teacher was just having a little chat with the kids in the class.
I was nearby, so I listened to the conversation.
The teacher gave one by one turns to all the students. They each had to tell what they were going to do during the vacation.
Upon hearing that question, I immediately became irritated. But I held back and continued to listen.
The students answered one by one: one would fly kites, another would go to Miami, another to China, yet another had no answer. Some said I'm going to play soccer, to which the teacher also responded with 'oh, only that??'
I got angry and I almost felt like asking the teacher if I could have a word with her after the session.
Because how do you do that?
Are you a teacher? Do you ever do this too? Then maybe it's time for you to sit over and think about it.
I can remember how bad it was when I was 7 and the teacher in class asked me what I was going to do during the vacation?
Innocent question?
Yes, that's what it looks like at first. But it's not. Do you know why?
Because I never had an answer for it.
My mother was single, we had no money at home. She tried really hard, but we couldn't afford a vacation in Miami. We couldn't even afford a trip in our own country.
So? We just stayed home during the vacations. We couldn't go out to eat and I didn't know what McDonald's was until I was 15 and earning my own pocket money through little jobs here and there.
Of course, as a 7-year-old child, I didn't tell the teacher this. In fact, I made something up (so I lied) or I just looked at the ground. Because I was embarrassed.
At that age, I was embarrassed because everyone else in the class would go do something fun. And I didn't. The other kids would see that and often I was teased about it afterwards.
This question unconsciously brings a distinction to the classroom; especially in a third world country where many children don't know what it means to go on vacation to another country.
Children are normally innocent, they don't look for things in the direction of rich and poor and so they don't realize that they are in a class with people who are less fortunate. But by asking this simple question, the teacher brings the reality of their home to the classroom. And for some kids that's nice, but for others it's not.
You see, some kids like school very much because it makes them forget the worried faces of their parents. Because they forget, in front of their classmates, that there is no food at home. And that they will have to stay hungry after school. Depriving these little moments of fun from these children is the worst thing a teacher can do. Either consciously or unconsciously.
My advice: don't ask this question. Or if you do want to ask it, just generally ask in class 'What are you guys going to do during the vacation?'
Let the kids who do want to share it with you, share it.
Those who don't want to answer, you can always ask individually afterwards if everything is okay or better yet : don't ask anything.
I share this because I know that there are teachers who sometimes do not realize what such a simple question creates in the classroom. This is often because they are with large groups and can't always see how that one child in that one corner reacts.
But while tutoring, I am with small groups of 5 or 6 children and I too have made the mistake of asking such questions in the past. And the dissappointment on some kids' faces I never forget.
Their faces brought me back to the time when I was little myself. I remembered how I felt. And since then I think a thousand times about a question before I ask it in class. Especially with little kids.
Always be kind.
Thank you for visiting my blog.
Note: My first language is Dutch; so if there are mistakes in my English text, kindly forgive me please.