Cold Wallet - Nope not the cash you stash in your freezer away from your partner but a wallet that is as offline as your great-grandmother in church.
Stop Loss - While it is a general practice to stop all forms of losses except weight, crypto exchanges allow you to set a limit beyond which your coin cannot endure and is sold back to minimize evidence of your noobness.
FUD - No, its not the misspelling hipsters striking again but rather the fear, uncertainty, doubt like you feel just before getting married.
Bagholder - Your boyfriend The person who is so late to the dumping party that they are left holding crypto which is nect to worthless.
Halving - Like in your job, instead of the promotion you were promised, you receive a 50% paycut and advice that you're lucky to have a job. Ditto but for miners.
No Coiner - Poor people who can't afford bitcoin
Vaporware - Like the perfect guy, the fantasy hyped in movies, books but doesn't exist - the software version of that.