OK boys and girls, it's about time we all become honest with one another. Because we are the sexually driven species that we are, most relationships find their genesis in the lust phase. Face it, in the beginning of a relationship, how can that 'in love' feeling exist? Being in love takes a lot of time and a lot of work to create the substance of a life as partners with full trust. So in that beginning stage it is lust that drives the relationship, and yes, this is perfectly normal.
Now let's take this one step further and be 100% honest with one another. Real love can be a damn bore. Depending on the dynamic of the underlying relationship, indeed lust may be better than love. Lust fulfills that temporary animalistic need we as humans possess. So are there any benefits to lust?
Duh! Hell yes there are benefits to lust!
First, lust is beneficial when one is searching for a no-strings attached relationship. In this regard the individual is simply looking to satisfy their human animal sexual needs and necessary passionate physical contact requirements. And realistically, if this is understood between the partners up front, there is absolutely nothing wrong with this arrangement. Both parties are satisfying their needs absent any unwanted commitment.
Second, lust may be more motivational than the feelings of true love. When we are in love we are secure and grounded. But face it folks, when we are in lust we are on the prowl (like a wild
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animal stalking its prey). We may be driven to do things we normally don't do - spend more time at the gym, go to a different bar, hang out at the grocery store, buy/adopt a dog, etc. Anything to satisfy our lust motivates us off the couch and into action.
Third, according to John Wilder, author of Sex Education For Adults: Secrets To Amazing Sex And Happily Ever After, Too (Sonshine Publishing, 2014), lust makes one own their sexuality which in turn makes sex more satisfying and passionate.
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By giving into lust, you are able to engage in sex more freely and Wilder suggests this may make you more desirable in the eyes of your partner.
Hence, for the foregoing reasons lust can prove itself to be a win-win proposition. But wait a minute, isn't lust one of the septem peccata mortalia? If so, isn't it a sure-fire ticket to hell?
The world was free from sin until Adam and Eve committed the original sin in the Garden of Eden. Now, lust is considered one of the septem peccata mortalia, or translated the seven deadly sins.
In religious terms, lust is an unbridled sexual desire that possibly leads to fornication. Lust includes: adultery; rape; bestiality; as well as other sinful sexual actions. It is categorized as a cardinal sin, but is not specifically mentioned as such in the Bible. But we have to dig deeper as not every sin committed gives us a one way ticket to hell.
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Personal sins are either mortal sins or venial sins, and it is imperative to understand the difference between the two. A mortal sin is very bad as it is a rejection of God and removes the sinner from God's grace. The mortal sin causes spiritual death [Romans 5:12; 6:23] and if unreconciled results in eternal damnation in Hell. To be a mortal sin, three conditions must be satisfied: it must be a grave sin; it is committed with the full knowledge of the sinner; and, it is committed with the deliberate consent of the sinner [See, e.g. St. Thomas Aquinas. What is a Mortal Sin?. (Accessed December 1, 2021).
On the other hand, a venial sin is relatively slight in nature and accordingly does not necessarily require eternal damnation in Hell. A venial sin is less severe than a mortal sin as it does not cut the sinner off from Christ. It does however damage the sinners relationship with God requiring reconciliation and cleansing in purgatory to escape damnation in Hell. St. Thomas Aquinas warns: " A person who frequently indulges in venial sin is very likely to collapse into mortal sin if they persist in their evil ways" [Id.].
So just where does this leave us with regard to lust? In essence, the seven deadly sins are in and of themselves venial in nature. Basically, pure lust without more is merely a vice that if left unchecked may develop into further immoral behavior and give rise to other sins. By way of example, mere lust with no action is a venial sin whereas adultery is a mortal sin. Rape and sodomy are likewise mortal sins.
We are now able to answer the question of whether lust provides us a clear ticket to Hell. And the unfortunate wishy-washy answer is - it depends. If lust goes unchecked and results in either adultery or rape, a mortal sin has been committed requiring eternal damnation. But if we restrain our lust to our thoughts, look but don't touch, think but don't act, we have committed a minor venial sin which by way of reconciliation will allow the gates of Heaven to open before us.
