Okay hear me out…
I love my new job (it's an internship by the way). I work with amazing people. My bosses are great. I haven't had issues with anybody which is strange in a way because I am a troublemaker.
But here is the thing, yeah, I feel like I am juggling too many things. There is just so much I need to do and thinking about it alone makes me inactive.
I miss the days when all I had to do was wake up, write and engage. Yes, I said it! I miss being lazy; I miss having control of time.
Maybe I am scared of a new challenge. My job would make me a better content creator. Currently taking a course on SEO. I should dabble into branding at some point. So it's a great opportunity for me.
The challenge is doing all these wonderful things I want to do. My health hasn't been great for the past 2weeks and I haven't done all I wanted and I hate that. I am fighting mixed feelings and my job is the only thing I can blame.
I miss my top spot in the engagement league; I miss having time to engage and learn which fuels my creativity. These days I feel stuck in my mind contemplating trivial things.
Asides from work and hive, other things are bugging my mind. Again, there are just so many things to be done. I keep reminding myself that at no point would I be in a position where I won't have to solve problems.
So rather than let life's challenges weigh me down, I should think of practical ways to manage the situation and my stress level. I just need to get out of my head. That's where all the madness happens.
It is quite ironic, but I put so much unrealistic pressure on myself. Reading this you would think I had an unproductive day or week but that's far from it. I have been able to achieve 80% of things on my to-do list. So why the pressure?
My colleague at work advised me to do some fun stuff. I laugh because I honestly do not know how to have fun. All I do these days is make money and cross things off my to-do list. I am more of a robot than a human being
I can't even sleep well without thinking of all the things I need to do. I don't enjoy watching movies or playing chess as i once did.
The only time I genuinely feel at peace is with my favourite person. Fortunately she is very busy now with her new job (good for us). So i dunno, maybe you guys can come up with fun things i can do.
I am laughing at myself right now. What have I become? Anyway, enough of my ramble. If by the end of June I am not able to sort things out I might just quit. Praying for guidance and direction from above. Cheers!