I was a good doctor with many patients, using my medical knowledge to make the path toward success a bit smoother. So I thought.
My drug use escalated. I kept on making Internet orders, I would prescribe my drugs to patients without thinking about the record I was establishing, I was out of control, but getting by, taking many pills to get through each day.
Throughout this time I still felt on top.
Despite my drug use, I was a physician with a thriving practice. I provided quality care and had no patient complaints. I had a wife and children that relied upon me and saw me as a great provider. My friends and family admired me. I was respected in the community. I enjoyed my status and felt it was deserved, having achieved academically as well as socially since childhood.
Then one day, the Drug Enforcement Agency came to the door inquiring about fraudulent prescriptions. The reality of the situation took months to sink in. My reaction was "disbelief". I was no druggie engaged in covert activities, and I was certainly no criminal. I was an admired and respected physician. I was sure the entire misunderstanding would be cleared up with a smile and an apology. I could not have been more wrong.
The shame and magnitude of my tumble was immeasurable. Not only did I face the legal and professional ramifications of having written improper prescriptions and my addictive drug use but I had to cope with the personal humiliation of a fall from grace. I was no longer the icon of success I had worked a lifetime to achieve. I was now tainted, not only in the eyes of my colleagues, but also, for the very first time, in my own. I lost my job, I began slowly spiraling downward again..