The MC of your poem's self-realisation of the win-win facing them is quite sad. When depression and mental health issues cloud the life of someone, it can often be all-encompassing and overwhelming, such that death is made to seem like a viable alternative. Hunting down and facing up to one's demons that plague one's every move is not an easy task. I commend the MC for challenging the narrative, but find it heartbreaking that he/she sees no end other than one determined by the ghost that haunts them, albeit that they feel at this point that death will bring a solace of sorts. There is a sense of final surrender and futility in trying to outrun his/her nemesis any longer.