hard to work. it's hard to be creative, this brain is empty, it's empty with all the crazy ideas. I don't even understand what I wrote anymore. I'm at a loss as to what other crazy things to talk about while there are absolutely no sources that really interest me. I can say now is my laziest moment in my work.
All day I just stare out the window. I brewed a cup of coffee in the hope that my crazy ideas would recover. I started playing instrument songs to create a comfortable atmosphere. saw a bird that made a cage and watched it from afar. I purposely this weekend made something that could trigger my crazy idea to appear but in fact until this moment I did not find what I was looking for. many advised me to just take a vacation in a natural place. but it's not my fashion it's not my taste for me to hear the instrument and the smell of a cup of coffee is enough to represent the universe.
simple is my personality, but somehow when I spill my work without crazy ideas for me the writing that I make is just like garbage. lifeless has no meaning and like vegetables without salt everything tastes bland.
Sad to think about it but that's what happened. I judge my work based on other people's responses, because I realize that the one who can judge me is not myself but other people. to me others are fair judges. without engineering without manipulation. when my work is really crazy . it will make people who read my writing also high. but if the work is only modest, without life in it. and without an interesting connection I think other people also judge the work that I make is just useless trash.
it might take some time for this brain to get back to normal, or at least come up with the crazy idea I wanted. Things like this are experienced by many other writers. I am very confident. because the feeling of being lazy to write because of the loss of an idea is the same as living without color. the work that is made is meaningless and seems forced.
I'm tired and I want to lay down my brain for a while. I want to hibernate in the hope that crazy ideas will come back and be able to create interesting and entertaining works. not work that is just forced. being the best is not an easy thing, therefore if what I do is just a normal thing, I think I'm just wasting my time. doing silly things that other people think is just trash. I will forge myself until I am considered by others. and I'll be back with the crazy idea I prepared.