Ego is a controversial word hated by saints and sages of old, but this is what drives the social media influencers, cheerleaders and most leaders of the world today. Ego isn't always bad, isn't a bad word, it is core of our identity and yet it could be our worst enemy when it turns what could be a beautiful life into a rat race.
Ego blows hot and blows cold, you see the temperatures rise and fall when it is challenged or thwarted. It bloats with success and deflates with failures, it's like a weather cock changing direction on how collective opinions goes. It is never too stable for long. It can make your mood or let you down without a moments notice.
It's like a child who needs to be trained to walk this walk of life. If we let it remain wild it would be the down fall of you and I. Discipline is what it needs to keep it stable and balanced.
Ego is the child within and its always about me. I, me and myself top its vocabulary. The ego can only think what is in this for me, its never about others. There is greed in Ego as in the constant need for attention. It grabs every bit of attention that is available even at the cost of out shadowing those around.
Ego thrives in the spotlight and hates being shunned. It competes with everything it considers to be better and lives on comparison and competition. While it is the abundance of energy it burns you out faster than you think, drains you emotionally and guzzles your creative energy.
It acts on the opinion of others even though it is highly opinionated. It is a contradiction of sorts. It always thinks highly of itself but acts with a need to validate itself in the eyes of others. Even though it thinks highly of itself it is always hungry for praise.
It is that thing that tells God I prayed to you, I spent ten minutes with you today its time you answered my prayer or validate my actions. It is the pride of Satan that came before the fall, I need to have everything I see.
Ego isn't always bad or evil when directed and trained it can be your friend and help you direct all that energy in the right direction.
It is your resilience that helps you bounce back after a fall or a tragedy. It is the power of self worth when held down with reality checks.
Ego is born in the battle to prove itself as stronger, better and wiser. There is no happiness or contentment there even though it does protects your feelings at times, it doesn't really let your mind, body and spirit rest in peace.
To me it is something I need to deal with everyday, to stop myself from judging others which would leave me feeling superior to the world around. It is something I fight with to bring about an inner balance. The more I keep it in check the better my relationship with the outside world gets.
Ego is good in good measure and when it knows who is the in the driver's seat. When it learns to stay on the baseline of rational thought rather than emotion.
It is a subtle thing and it is hard to know when you've crossed the line. Being aware of your thoughts, emotions and actions constantly helps maintain the balance. I am work in progress, I am not there yet, but I hope I get better everyday.
This is my take on the ego. This is my relationship with it, I try not to let it get ahead of itself! The battle within!!