Try a lot then don't try at all.
You know those days when you're so immersed in doing a particular activity that you forget time exists.
But then even with this immersion, the outcome of the activity leaves you unsatisfied, as in the expected results didn't materialise the way you wanted it to.
The work felt alive, energy was there, but results refused to reflect the depth of your effort.
Go again tomorrow or the day after until expectations become reality or leave it just as it is, maybe try something else or readjust your expectations to meet the reality that has come about from your activities?
To keep pushing ahead means to exert force toward a goal that doesn't always yield to force. There is strength in pursuit, yes, but there's also wisdom in recognizing when effort becomes friction.
A particular example that can drive this point home is having a boss who's hardly ever satisfied with the work that you do. It's tempting to shoulder the blame and think that if you just refine, revise, and repeat, you'll eventually earn approval.
A less visible truth however is that your boss's reaction is not yours to control. Satisfaction, in such cases, may depend on shifting moods, personal biases, or expectations that exist outside your reach or independent of the work you do.
I think this aspect of trying to "please" one's superiors by almost any means necessary is an extreme form of push that drains the energy that made your work meaningful in the first place.
You keep giving more, adjusting endlessly, until you realize the real struggle isn't in the improvement aspect but seeking this outside validation or nod of approval that you've done a good job.
Did you know the term pushover also originally referred to someone whose boundaries are too soft to resist outside pressure?
It's ironic, isn't it? The more we push to please, the more likely we are to become pushovers bending so much to meet expectations that we forget to stand in our own shape.
Grow some spine, I mean a lot of it, and stand firm in your own worth.
Learning To Move Differently
It is said that reality is negotiable. The angle that I tend to interpret this from is in terms of you can have anything you want but not everything you want.
That is to say within the limits of what's possible, we can shape certain outcomes but not all. One needs to be specific here and make sacrifices because every yes implies a thousand silent nos.
To pull, in this sense, is to choose alignment over insistence. Some may call it going with the flow or where the puck is or surfing trends. Yes, there's an aspect of that to it without which you're just forcing yourself upstream.
In another pov, one is creating the right conditions for opportunity to unfold naturally.
Imagine pushing a career forward in a dying industry.
Unless you're really, really passionate about it, as in passionate enough that the work itself sustains you regardless of external rewards, you're essentially rowing against a tide that's already receding.
You can be the most skilled, dedicated person in that space, but if the ecosystem around you is collapsing, your effort won't change the direction of the current.
Passion could justify the struggle for you personally, but it won't resurrect what's already fading.
Sometimes the smartest move is to recognize when the ground beneath you has shifted and redirect your energy somewhere it can actually take root.
Pulling is counterintuitive.
You don't stop working. You simply redirect the energy from pushing harder to drawing things toward you. You listen, wait, and allow timing to play its part.
I've not yet found this click on the timing part. What I've realized so far beyond this cliche of time in the market beats timing the market is that patience is active waiting with preparation.
You position yourself where opportunities are likely to emerge, then stay ready to act when the moment arrives.
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