It’s not that some people have willpower and some don’t … It’s that some people are ready to change and others are not.
— James Gordon
For the past four years now, I have been searching deeper and deeper to know more about myself. All to make me a better person. Thoroughly furnished unto good works.
It has been one hell of a ride. In this journey of self-discovery, there’s one thing I found to be a major problem.
It is the root of all the tragedies we face as humans.
And this major problem is our inability to accept “change.”
Leo Tolstoy puts it this way: “Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.”
Change is the difference maker. No one can be fulfilled in life without first experiencing change.
I know it, and you know it too. But here’s the thing; If change is the only thing that we can’t avoid, why is it so difficult for us to accept it into our lives?
Why do we shy away from change, despite knowing that the only way to move forward is to embrace it?
From my personal experience, I have found out that our thoughts and emotions often prevent us from creating behavioral change, even when it will improve our lives.
Here are 12 false beliefs, which I also refer to as “lies” that keep you from making the changes you want or simply stop you from believing ever started making them in the first place:
Lie #1 — What I’m doing now isn’t that bad
You tend to justify a bad habit by convincing yourself that what you’re doing isn’t “that bad.” This is a false belief that keeps you from accepting change. It keeps you stuck in your destructive habit system.
Lie #2 — When I'm knowledgeable, wealthy, and ready, I'll do it.
This is one of my weaknesses. Procrastinating and putting off things just because we feel we’re not ready. We keep saying to ourselves, “Who am I to write a book?” or “I don’t think I’m knowledgeable enough to share my experience.” When we tell ourselves that we’re not there yet, we begin to believe it and eventually we become what we tell ourselves.
Lie #3 — Even if I make this change, it won’t last.
Have you ever been tormented by the voices inside of your head that tell you, “Why bother changing your habits?" "You and I know it won’t last.” That’s the chatterbox talking. The problem is, most times, we believe it.
Lie #4 — Changing anything right now will make the situation worse.
Even when you’re in a bad situation, you worry that making a change can make things worse.
Lie #5 — It is too risky for me to make a change.
The thought of stepping outside your comfort zone just seems too scary.
Lie #6 — I don’t deal with change well.
What a clumsy lie! This false belief will definitely keep you stuck.
Lie #7 — This will never work.
How would you know it will never work when you’re not ready for the climb? Again, this is a popular lie we tell ourselves that stops us dead in our tracks.
Lie #8 — I can’t handle doing something different.
By believing this deception, you continue to put off making any adjustments to your routine and endure a great deal of anxiety. You stop being adaptable.
Lie #9 — It will be too hard.
You lack the motivation to create positive change because you always say to yourself, “It’s going to be too stressful for me.”
Lie #10 — It will be too stressful to give up the things I like
Choosing to do something different requires you to adapt your thinking and your behavior, which will probably bring up some uncomfortable emotions.
Lie #11 — There’s no sense in trying because I tried something like that before and it didn’t help.
So many times, we shy away from change because of past occurrences, and we use this as a metric in judging our present situation. This belief system keeps us stuck.
Lie #12 — This is just who I am.
This is a depressing belief. Just because you failed at something doesn’t me you’re destined to fail. Surprisingly enough, this is the false belief system we carry with us.
If you’re held back by any of these lies, then I guess it's time to tell yourself a new story. I believe that if we can put off the rags of shame, isolation, self-hate, and pride, we’ll radically transform our lives.
Just because you think it will be difficult doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. Every time you refuse to accept change, it becomes harder and harder to break those negative habits that keep you stuck.
So, do any of these lies resonate with you? What prevents you from making the changes you desire?