Image by David Mark from Pixabay
Retired army captain R.E. Ludlow Sr. felt festive one early morning in July and so added a sprinkle of cinnamon, cardamom, and cloves to his black coffee before going out onto his porch with a smile.
Neighbor Sgt. Vincent Trent saluted and then waved, as did his son, 21-year-old Melvin. They were also smiling as they held their steaming cups.
For the captain, it was a calm morning of affectionate reflection on what had happened the evening before.
The captain's two eldest grandchildren, eleven-year-old Eleanor and ten-year-old Andrew, were big readers, as was Sgt. Trent's middle daughter eleven-year-old Velma. They had been deeply intrigued by a book called “Little-Known Holidays In Hilarious America.” Capt. Ludlow had previewed the book, as had Sgt. Trent, and they knew that something would catch the children's eye. Sure enough … .
“Okay, I think we need to discuss this,” Andrew announced to his sister and her best friend Velma. “I am not sure what I think.”
“It's a good thing we've got five months to figure it all out,” Velma said.
“Figure what out?” her nine-year-old brother Milton and eight-year-old sister Gracie said as they came onto the porch.
“Festivus – it's this holiday we've been missing on Dec. 23,” Velma said.
“Great!” Milton said. “Lights, food, presents, and action!”
“No, not exactly,” Velma said. “More wrestling, instead.”
“Hey, this could be good!” nine-year-old George Ludlow said as he came out on his porch. “WWE has a holiday? Cool!”
“And pole dancing, apparently,” Velma said.
“Well, that's good exercise before all that Christmas food,” Eleanor said.
“No, this will never work!” eight-year-old Edwina Ludlow came out and said. “It's already going to be winter! Poles are cold and gray too!”
“Well, Christmas, Kwanzaa, and Hanukkah are kind of hogging all the good colors and trees and lamps and stuff,” Gracie said.
“I will not be getting all dressed up for an aluminum foil holiday!” Edwina said. “If they said Saran Wrap I could work with it because you just put good colors on the inside, but I will not be dancing around a roll of Reynolds Aluminum Foil like some leftovers being wrapped up. No!”
Seven-year-old Amanda Ludlow ran out and gave her sister a big hug.
“Papa and Grandma would never make us live like leftovers,” she said, and kissed Edwina on the cheek.
“I see an even bigger problem,” Eleanor said. “There's a lot of heckling while watching the wrestling and pole dancing.”
Amanda frowned.
“Who does that?” she said.
“Oh, lots of people do that all year,” Gracie said. “You just have to eavesdrop on people when they don't know you're around, and it's real easy when you're not even four feet tall yet.”
“But why can't we just love each other?” Amanda said.
“Adults sometimes get into these things,” Milton said. “I remember when we went with Grandma Gladys to see some of our great-aunts and uncles for New Year. Folks started drinking and started talking about each other. Just when the wrestling got good and going – I mean the chairs were flying and everything – she got us up out of there, but our family already celebrates.”
“Now this is the part I want to hear about!” George said. “How do we get to the wrestling part over here?”
“Wrestling?” five-year-old Lil' Robert Ludlow popped out onto the porch to say. “Where? Can we have mud?”
“The problem,” Andrew said, “is that Sgt. Trent and Papa would be the final bosses in the wrestling matches.”
Milton went inside.
“Hey, Melvin!” he called out to his 21-year-old brother. “Wanna help me wrestle Dad for a new holiday?”
“The way that man pinned me to the ground arm wrestling last week? Naw, bruh – you're on your own.”
“Don't even look at me,” Velma said as she got up to go inside.
“Ain't it the truth,” Gracie said, sounding just like Grandma Gladys as she got herself up out of there.
“But we ought to at least try it!” Lil' Robert said.
“Try what?” six-year-old Grayson said as he poked his little blond head out.
“George and Robert here want to wrestle Papa in the mud,” Andrew said.
“Gottagobye,” Grayson said, and pulled his little head right back into the house.
“I'll see if Grandma Gladys can get y'all the hook up,” Milton said. “I mean, Dad says they've basically been doing Festivus forever in his family. Maybe they have some techniques.”
“Yeah,” George said. “Find out for us, Milton, from the experts. We've got five months to get this together. I just need to get Papa to let us dig a mud pit out here, and we'll be ready!”
Meanwhile, the next morning when Lil' Robert Ludlow came sleepily into a new dawn, his grandfather added cinnamon, cardamom, and cloves and a drop of coffee to Lil' Robert's cup of warm milk.
“Our own little holiday!” Lil' Robert said.
“Yes,” said the captain, with a smile.
“Yaaaaaay!”
As usual, grandfather and grandson watched the sun scatter gold over the foothills of the Blue Ridge until Lil' Robert snuggled into his grandfather's lap and went back to sleep. This almost always happened, but –.
“It's still a miracle,” Capt. Ludlow said as he kissed his baby grandson's sleeping forehead.