All my life, I've used the quirkiest tells to figure out a person's character. Yes, you can go by what they say, do, etc., but a much more exciting way to decode someone's personality is in their routines, the little things we tend to pay little or no attention to.
One of my tells has always been coffee.
I've always prided myself on liking my coffee strong, though I didn't always take it black. I was young and didn't understand how much more flavorful and nuanced black coffee is. Now, I seldom take it with milk. Only if it's unbearably strong or if I'm grabbing coffee at a cafe (a fairly rare occurrence), where I opt for a Flat White. But 90% of my coffee is plain black and extra strong.
I don't like toned down and I don't like compromise. I want to know I'm having it at 100%, whatever it is. It might be why I've never been able to stand cocktails or any of those other girly, diluted drinks. If I wanna drink, I'm having whiskey or wine or gin. Something real. A hard-hitter.
If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right, and I've always taken my coffee by that saying.
Does that mean I judge soft coffee drinkers?
Absolutely. I have little patience for cappuccinos and lattes, and while as a host I will offer you cream and sugar, I will judge you for taking either, trust me. Why? What do they mean?
Well, when you drown a shot of espresso in an ocean of milk or make it sickeningly sweet, you're robbing it of flavour. You're toning it down, diluting it, taking away its essence.
It says a lot about how you live life. I've never met soft coffee drinker who enjoyed life at its fullest otherwise. In my experience, the cappuccino people are cappuccino in all areas of life. Soft, blunt edges and diluted so they don't offend or make any kind of dent in their world.
Not a life worth living, in my book. Just like coffee, life can be bitter, hard, unpleasant, and too dark for your liking. There's conflict, there's being left out or isolated from your group, there's pissing off your boss, and arguing with your partner. There's danger. And thank fuck for that, because where else would you be, otherwise?
People who like sugary coffee seem to like sugary life. They avoid conflict and put on their rose-tinted glasses once too often. They shy away from big changes or decisions that might thrust them into the bitter unknown.
People who like milky coffee, likewise, have milky, watered-down lives. They don't make a splash, they go with the majority, they wear the same fashion trends everyone else is, they just try to blend in by toning down all the authenticity in their essence.
Is that fair on my part? Definitely not. But I don't really care. If we're ever out for coffee, you better believe I'm gonna be judging your order. The only way I can tolerate a cappuccino or any of these softer coffee types is if it's early and I'm planning on at least another strong cup of coffee when I get home.
Remember, you can't do life avoiding your heart going haywire from time to time. Whether from strong-ass coffee, heartache or the thrill of the unknown, it's gotta go a little crazy from time to time to remind you you're alive. Otherwise, what's the point?
