The Fight for Coffee
Coffee is gone. Outlawed, gone.
Politicians, it seems, don't need reasons for their vagaries. They make laws based on their own peculiar economic reality.
The thing is, people love coffee.
Really, they do, and right now the black market value of a bean is equivalent to gold.
Really!
So, well, I’ve got a plot of land. Well, it’s mine now, but it used to belong to a favorite uncle, who drank way too much, but had the sense to plant coffee. Coffee growing is illegal now, and they’ve got drones. Can you believe that, drones check on coffee production, while the oil fields are burning and the sun doesn’t remember which side of the earth to rise on each day. It’s scandalous, absolutely scandalous.
However, as scandalous as it might be, those are the facts…
No coffee.
But, I’ve got coffee, and I’m not going to give it up without a fight.
Then, one day, yes, it happened in a day. I was in the middle of scheming out a scheme, and the fire coals were glowing and the dagga was sweet…and my wife focused on the coals with a look that said magic was afoot. Well, in my inebriated state, I simply shut up and listened, which is always the best plan when you’re stoned.
She’s a smart woman, my wife. That’s why I married her, she gives me perfume in summer and comfort on ice.
Another thing about her that most people don’t know is that she’s a clandestine coffee lover, and I guess that’s why she’s mine.
Everything she said made absolute sense because her eyes were so blue and her hair held the scent of morning dew. No sane man, with his wits about him could ignore her soft words, especially when they held the secret of our fortune in their reasoning.
“The powers that be are handing out tenders for cannabis growing. They’re not hard to come by because the government needs tons of dagga to keep all their soldiers happy. You’ve got to understand the mindset of these poor boys and girls who’ve got to go out on missions to destroy all the coffee that the government’s drones locate. They must be so depressed. Right?”
I sat up straighter and tried to focus on the direction my wife’s thoughts were taking. “I don’t want to grow more cannabis, I only grow enough for myself. No, I want to grow coffee. Why are you suggesting this?”
“Of course we’re not going to stop growing coffee, but the government contract allows growers to erect camouflage mesh over the production fields to deflect marauders and thieves who’ve got their own drones. Our fields would be identified as off limits to government drones and undercover, so we can grow our coffee safely, as long as we grow some dagga as well.”
A light clicked on in my little brain. I love the way my wife thinks, “that’s brilliant. Absolutely marvelous. It’s going to feel so good to trick the bastards. Haha. I love you, you know?”
“Haha, I'm such a lovable girl, aren’t I?” She giggled like a schoolgirl, but soon turned serious again.
“Coffee is an olfactory sensation, reliant on the nose, dear boy. It’s not in the taste, it’s in the aroma, that’s where the pleasure lies. Gary, are you listening to me? You look like you’ve seen nirvana. Gary?”
“...ummm, Yes. Another great point.” I collapsed my head onto a fisted elbow and stared at her collar bones. Lord, God, those collar bones were killers.
“Stickers, Gary. Stickers!” My brain fog evaporated instantly, like the mist lifts on a sunny day over the savannah.
“Stickers?” I was lost.
“Yes, stickers, removable tattoo stickers, you know those stickers that you apply to your skin to look like you’ve had the guts to go under the tattooist’s knife? Well, we load them with coffee. When you lick the back of the sticker, you get a coffee hit and if you drop the whole thing into boiling water, you get a cup of coffee. Easy to transport and the authorities will never guess that you can hide coffee under a tattoo. what do you say?”
“ingenious. I’m not sure how we’ll accomplish it all, but I know that if you’ve got a plan. You’ll find a workable solution in no time at all.” She rose like a gazelle from her seat and came over to hug me, and I could almost smell the coffee and it was bliss.”
