Great plan for a Saturday night, to write about what I feel, ideas and words, at times, it seems like the current of the strongest river and suddenly we go from light to darkness, from presence to absence, finding inspiration becomes a needle in a haystack, an elephant in a jewelry store.
I never before analyzed what the first coffee in the morning means in my world, it's like the famous pretext; "Let's not put a name to our relationship, I don't like adjectives", maybe a tacit bohemian cynic said it, congratulations for the one who can live like that, I need to classify everything in order to move forward, that thing they say, that the order of the factors does not alter the product, does not apply to me, the file of my life, my memory, my plans, my actions and more, follow the strict order of the alphabet.
Today... I woke up at 07:00 am and got out of bed at 08:00 am, I spent an hour looking at the ceiling thinking about the things that I want to happen and do not happen, I arrive at the station of resignation and ashes, hope is born, it is a new day to try again, while there is life, there is opportunity, a prayer of thanks for being alive, here and now, for integral health and for the good news that will come with the hours, I count to three and with an impulse I put my feet on the ground. The ritual of self-esteem, cold water to wash face, teeth, comb hair and something else.
I'm in the kitchen, someone made coffee and didn't let me, it was my mother, she drinks concentrated coffee, dark, here they call it cerrero, I like it differently, that's why I prepare my own coffee, of course, as if it were a coffee tea with sugar to taste and in the biggest cup.
I sit at the dining room table, I blow the nectar and remember a song that says; "I want you to be the first thing I see, when the sun rises, to have a coffee in the morning and give us a kiss very early, when we wake up, without brushing our teeth", I laugh because I already brushed my teeth and I failed the equation, maybe that's why I have no company.
The first coffee of the morning makes me think; I have everything to go live alone and I feel so afraid to leave my parents' house, my mother says that I have the philosophy of the indigenous tribes of South America; they are mechanical, rational and without emotions, they look like ice floes, she says; that if I leave, I would turn the page very quickly and I must not forget the path that leads me to my first home, so as not to return like the prodigal son, it seems like a play and she, daily represents this same monologue, with different words but reaching the same point in a masterful way.
— Mother, what are you referring to, I was in psychological therapy for existential crisis, this ice floe has cracked thousands of times before your eyes, my coffee is getting cold and I still haven't finished it, pass me in writing what I should do and say in front of you so as not to irritate you, I will please you, I will stop being me, to be that who you want me to be. —
Sometimes I am sarcastic, my coffee got cold, fortunately I made enough, I am going to refill my super XXXL cup.
From the thorns now I go with the petals, I have a new motivation, I have talked with my friend Liz, we are going to walk together through the world of cooking and healthy eating, I have many expectations to learn recipes, to know flavors and to adopt a new lifestyle, the truth I am a lover of American food, but now I am aware that my duty is to take care of my temple.
Now, perhaps, at all these, clean slate, the first coffee in the morning for me, represents the essential, the connection, the process of introspection, the key that opens the doors of the doubts filed without resolution, face the things that I am not able to talk to anyone else, it is also to contemplate the welfare of calm, it is philosophy, it is intense life, more and better.
This is my participation for: Coffee Conversation N° 2.
Translated with DeepL.com
