One of my school teacher once said, “For most of us, the toughest challenges are those that we have personally experienced.”
Reflecting on this observation amidst various stories of adversity, its resonance rings true. Most of us opine that the struggles we have been through are far difficult than the hardships of other people. The reason is that the pain is the flavour we can only sense when we taste it personally.
Like every other person in the world, I have navigated my share of trial and turbulence. There were some challenges that tested me so hard to the point of neurotic breakdown pushing me into the abyss of darkness where hopelessness and helplessness got more intense each passing day.
I am neither comfortable about writing about what the circumstances were nor it is possible for me to describe them all in one post. It was not an individual problem or a situation that can be defined straightforwardly. There were myriad of issues coming from multiple dimensions and stalked over time. Consequently, my overall wellbeing was compromised and I faced multiple emotional and physical health challenges.
I am grateful to Almighty Allah, who not only birthed the ways to pull me out from the darkness towards the light and gave me the strength to overcome the challenges, but also let me develop into a better version of my self.
While I cannot discuss the circumstances, I want to share the lessons I have learnt through them.
I have realized that Self-pity is one of the most detrimental emotions for our ability to overcome challenges. It is like a poison that hampers our potential and capabilities.
Occasionally feeling sorry for oneself is natural, but if we don’t pull us out of it quickly it becomes an addiction. Despite experiencing its negative consequences, it becomes difficult to leave the pleasure of sympathy we drive from it.
Trapped in the noxious cycle of self-pity we become focused only on the problems, often time exaggerating them in our minds. It consumes all our strength. We lose the sight to see opportunity and thus finding solution becomes impossible. This way we remain stuck where we are- in the abyss of ever increasing darkness.
In the face of difficulty it is crucial to recognise if we are falling in the trap of self-pity. If that be the case we must make efforts to pull us out of it; and consume our energies to look for the opportunities in the given circumstances. I have come to believe that there are often ample opportunities, only if we are ready to embrace them.
Besides the negative impact of self-pity, I have also recognized the effect of negative people in our surrounding. In the face of adversity it is healthier to find a positive person for discussion. If such a person is unavailable, at least keep yourself away from pessimistic individuals.
Another hindrance in our path towards finding solution is our habit of blaming others for the adversity we face. The more we take responsibility for our action, the better we overcome our challenges.
At times, we are stuck in situations where we strive hard to meet other people’s expectations. Remember, we can never make everyone happy. A struggle to meet other’s expectations at the cost of our happiness depletes us of positive energy. Do only what you are naturally capable of without causing harm to your well-being.
Whenever we are in search of a solution we come across opportunities that appear quite small. It is beneficial to embrace whatever opportunity is at hand, instead of waiting for a bigger one. Opting to work on a small opportunity opens the gateway to greater ones, gradually.
Another important lesson I have learnt is to ignore what I cannot change. At the face of adversity, certain things are beyond our control. No matter what we do, we cannot mould them according to our preferences. Instead of burning our energy in thinking about those things, it is better to shift our focus towards the areas that can be improved.
In short, the adverse time of my life let me experience the detrimental effects of self-pity. I learnt to take the responsibility for my actions and look at the hindrances as an opportunity to explore the unravelled potential.
Shunning negative people in the surrounding, shifting my focus from undoable to doable and seizing the little opportunities available at the moment helped me in landing above my adverse circumstances.
••••••▪︎••••••
This post is my participation for Hive Learner’s featured prompt.
Image source edited by me on canva.com