The toad does not run in the afternoon for nothing. It's either something is pursuing it or it's pursuing something.
My first experience of a toxic relationship was from my high school friend Adanne whom got married to a rich businessman immediately after high school. We were all happy for her during her exquisite and flamboyant wedding. I can remember vividly how we all gushed over the tears that fall down her eyes during their exchange of vows.
Tears of joy!
We said admiring the latest couple in town. But that early morning after three years of marriage she opened to us what really caused those tears.
The night before our wedding, he hit me with a hanger and when i fall down in pain, he went ahead to match on my stomach.
When she finished telling us her story, our mouths were all wide open.
Why didn't you say something? You know we would have stopped you from showing up for the marriage.
I cannot imagine how she managed to stay with her abuser for three whole years. To even think about it got my mind messed up especially because i know her so well. She was down to earth and too young to be in such a toxic relationship. Her friends were in college while she was in a very toxic relationship that can end her if care is not taken. We agreed that she will stay with us as long as she can and get herself back.
I was in school and my school was not too far from my home so i visited home to keep her company during the weekends. Her mother called her everyday on phone shouting at her to go back to her husband. She abruptly refused and we were all happy for her. But i was suprised when my mother called me to tell me that Adanne has gone back to her husband's house. He bought a new car for her and the gift was enough to entice her back into the marriage. It was such a disappointment since she was almost about to get admission into the university.
This made me to realize that her husband uses gifts to bottle her up and make her remain in the marriage irrespective of his harsh treatment to her. When i put a call across to her she told me not to worry that everything was fine again. I wished her well and faced my front. Her sister called me to beg Adanne to leave the marriage but who am i to tell a grown woman what to do. She knew how toxic the man was and chose to remain with him but as she kept disturbing me months after months i decided to call her again.
She was crying bitterly on the phone. I asked her if she was alright and she said no. She went on to tell me how the man brought women into their matrimonal home and told her to do her worst. She slapped the girl he brought home and both of them joined hands and beat her up. I consoled her and asked her if she needed some time away to think that she can come to my school and stay for a while. She accepted and i was very happy. That would be a good time to talk sense into her. On the agreed day that she was supposed to come, i waited and waited for her call but didn't see it. I called her severely but she didn't pick my call. I called her sister to check up on her to make sure that she was ok. Her sister called me back and said that Adanne said she and her husband had reconciled and they will be going to the Maldives next week.
Long story short Adanne is currently battling with mental illness caused by depression. Her family fears for her life. Her people said that the husband held her down with charm others said that she was held down by riches. The man cares less about her since her illness and told her people to come and take her. She is currently in her parent's house recieving mental care. This taught me how dangerous living with a toxic person is. Oneday you will go crazy mentally and emotionally. You will lose your mind, soul and body trying to make a toxic relationship work. Something must have snapped that day. Something must have triggered that part of her brain...
Maybe all the pains she bottled up all those years.
