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So let me say this clearly; I am not a writer. I have never really sat down to write about my feelings before. But here I am, doing just that, so I guess life is full of surprises.
Anyway, let's get to it.
This week’s topic is about what we are learning or unlearning, and when I read that, one thing immediately came to mind: fear of failure. My old best friend. My most loyal companion. The one thing that has been with me longer than most people I know.
Honestly, I used to think that being scared of failing meant I was being smart. I thought I was protecting myself. Why jump into something if there is a real chance it could blow up in your face? That made total sense to me at the time.
But then I looked up one day and realized something kind of embarrassing. I had not actually tried anything in a while. Not because I was busy. Not because the timing was bad. I simply kept waiting for that perfect moment when I felt completely ready and confident, with zero fear. Spoiler alert: that moment never came. I was just standing still while everything around me kept moving. That realization hit me harder than I expected.
So what am I learning?
I am learning that fear does not actually go away before you do the thing. It goes away while you are doing it. Sometimes even after. But it does not politely step aside and let you through first. You have to walk right through it as if it is not there.
That is deeply annoying, and I won’t pretend otherwise. But it works. I have started doing small things that scare me. I am putting myself out there in tiny ways. Yes, sometimes it feels uncomfortable and awkward, and things do not go perfectly. But nothing catastrophic has happened either. The world did not end. People did not point and laugh. Life just continued, normally.
It turns out that most of the disasters I feared existed only in my head—rent free—for years. Absolutely wild.
And what am I unlearning?
The belief that if something fails, it means I am a failure. Those two things are not the same, and it took me embarrassingly long to figure that out.
An experiment that does not work does not mean the scientist is stupid. It just means to try a different method. That is literally how things work. But somehow, I missed that lesson growing up and turned every small setback into a whole identity crisis. Clearly, that was a very efficient use of my time.
I am slowly unlearning that now. It is a process. Some days are better than others. But I am getting there.
The bottom line:
Fear of failure is really just fear of being human. Every human fails sometimes; it is part of the whole experience. The goal was never to avoid failure. The goal is to not let it stop you from even showing up.
I am still figuring things out and probably will be for a while. But at least I am moving now instead of waiting on the sidelines for courage to magically appear. That feels like progress to me. And for now, that is enough.