Some days ago my friend sent me a link on X. I looked at the popup of the link, and it stated, "Married women, what is that one thing that nobody told you about marriage?" Following this popup, my friend captioned, "People dey suffer for marriage sha; I couldn't even read the comment." I also did not bother to open the link because it's always the same narrative of women living their lives for their husbands and their children as per societal standards.
It is worth noting that women of older generations always run with the narrative that marriage is a sacrifice and not a bed of roses. Marriage is work, and it's quite absurd that women these days do not want to put in the work.
You know, every time that I hear such statements from older women, I always contend it. It's not like women these days do not want to put in the work; we just want a partner who would be as invested as we are, not absent. And no, marriage is not work. That society has painted an agonizing picture of what marriage should be to women is highly unacceptable to me, and here's why: for every time ten women complain about bad marriages, there are one or two women living their best life with that one man they said "I do" to.
Again, for every time a man complains about meeting gold diggers, there is another man telling the world how lucky he is for the woman that he chose to do life with. So basically, that the majority is running with the same narrative shouldn't make it a norm or a standard that society has to abide by. That, readers, is why I contend with such archaic narrative and more.
The other day I asked an older woman, if marriage is so hard and y'all know motherhood is a lot of work why advuce, shame or coerce pther women. especially the younger ones to go into it? She kept quiet for a while, then said it's how society has made it to be. Her response was quite unrealistic; in fact, knowing that something is bad and then dragging others to tag along is just sheer wickedness, but then again, misery loves company.
I, for one, have never lived by societal standards. In fact, I take it as a point of duty to not let the perspective of people define or shape my reality.
I have seen that my life is in my hands and whatever I decide becomes my reality whether we like it or not we are each living our reality that's why it really does piss me off when i see people playing the victim.
I hear people, especially women, complain about how they were being pushed to early marriages and how they had children against their will, but then there are always choices, and this is what separated men from women. I have seen that a man will most likely never compromise his happiness, and since I adopted such nature, I tell you life has never been more easy going.
It could be your job, friendship or partnership, it doesn't have to be marriage. The thing is, I think life becomes worth living when we do away with the messiah mentality because once it starts to feel like a burden, that's a sign that the, "saviour myth" is at play and it's time to leave.