For many people, we all have mottos and codes by which we live. This is something that’s very important if we hope to live a structured life. While certain things might not be illegal, and you might not be required by the law not to do certain unethical things, the codes you choose to adopt will become the law that you recognize, keeping you in check.
A good example of this is cheating. Cheating in a relationship is not a crime, whether it’s a simple dating or a marriage. It’s not something that’s punishable by law, even though such an act has the capacity to destroy a thriving relationship. Yet, it will always be up to a person’s discipline and ethics to decide not to engage in such acts. That can be a code to live by.
So, for me, what’s my code? Honestly, the more I think of it, the more I realize that I’ve probably been living by the same code all my life. Right from when I was a kid, to my teenage years, and now as an adult. This has always been a way of life for me, and so far, so good, it’s always been working out. Which is the reason I don’t see myself stopping it anytime soon.
My motto is just to take things easy. I’m never one to stress over issues. Nah, I’m not built like that. Especially when I know that my stress won’t change anything, then I really stop feeling that way. When I find myself in a tricky situation, I ask myself, “Can you fix it?” and if the answer is yes, then I go ahead to fix it. No stress, no mess. But if the answer is no, then why am I stressing about something that’s beyond my control?
The issue is that for many of us, we seem to take great pleasure in worrying and stressing about things. Many times, people don’t even want solutions to their problems, they only want to talk about them. And I’m the kind of person who finds it tiring. I’m sick and tired of hearing about your money that got stolen. Let’s talk about what you’ll do about it! Will you involve the police, or will you simply make the money back???
When you focus on things that are not going right for you, you end up ignoring the things that are actually going right for you. How will you see the opportunities before you when you’re obsessed with the ones you lost in the past? It’s kind of how some people will always be complaining about their partners, they’ll talk about all the terrible things their partners have done to them. Oya leave that toxic partner na, no! They don’t want solutions, they simply want to talk about it.
As I said, I find such conversations tiring. Because for me, I’m always proactive. I choose to stress about the things I can actually control. Places where my stress and worry will yield results. My friends in school knew me. I stressed about exams only before I wrote them. But the minute I submitted the papers, I stopped worrying about them because I know that nothing I do or say will change what I’ve written and the grade I get.
Maybe when people accept the fact that some things will always be beyond their control, they’ll find it easier to just be… take stock of what they have power over, and move on. Because there’s more to life than constantly worrying and beating yourself up over pesky little things that, in the long run, won’t have any effect on your life, but would make you look and feel older than your age.
It’s crazy!!!
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