Men have always been expected to be stoic and hard, never allowing things to get to them, regardless of how bad they could possibly be. Men were not expected to be emotional or even show the tiniest sign of vulnerability. We should just bottle it all up, keep quiet, and keep moving. That’s how many of us were raised, and we took it into adulthood.
But sadly, this didn’t really work out well, because in a world that’s constantly changing, people need those who can connect to them on a deep level. And this includes being willing to be vulnerable from time to time. It’s sad that people will rather explode in a fit of hot temper, do crazy things in the name of anger, than address the issues that are bothering them.
And then again, the problem really isn’t only that men don’t want to talk, but also that many times, men have been mocked or insulted for speaking up. They’re talked down to when they complain about things, they’re told to ignore their feelings, and to stop acting like a child. After all, a man who shows signs of weakness would be seen as a man who doesn’t have what it takes to protect his family.
And in the end, that’s probably all it is. It’s just men putting on a show to look strong and capable, even when they feel nothing like that. Some could literally be dying inside, but they’d have to keep smiling and pushing through regardless, because their tears hold more weight than anyone else’s.
There’s a saying, when a father is angry, he’s angry alone, and nothing much changes in the home. But when the mother is angry, the entire house either becomes angry with her or feels the effects of her anger, because it will affect everything she does, not necessarily in a negative way, but it will be easy to tell when Mummy is angry, and everyone will know to tread carefully.
You can apply this theory to this topic. When a man cries, the entire family will feel it, especially if it happens before the kids as well. If you’re the kind of parent who has always shown yourself to be the strong one, the day you finally let loose, your kids will get terrified. Of course, this doesn’t apply to every case out there, but when you think about it, it does make a lot of sense. There are homes where the mothers are the heads, and they’re the strong ones, so if they end up being the ones to break down emotionally, then everyone will know that something is wrong.
So, what am I trying to say? Should men be allowed to cry? This is not just about crying, it’s a whole lot more than that. Because the more we repress our feelings, the harder it will be to contain them, and that’s how people lash out. That’s how people do crazy things, all in the name of anger. Because of the volatile nature in his home, a man might get into a fight at the market and beat the person to death. Other times, because of how he was always trained to shut the hell up, he’d find it hard to express himself and analyze emotions.
We just need men to be able to express themselves more freely without being judged for it, or being to feel little or inadequate for being vulnerable. Because it’s only when we can embrace our feelings and emotions that’s when we can actually grow into better humans.
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