No form of bullying can ever be 'better' or a 'slightly less evil form’, because both of them have been known to have great repercussions, not just on the victims, but on their families, careers, and even their futures as well. Because this is something that you just recover from. You don’t take malaria medicine and heal from the effects of bullying. You take paracetamol to get rid of the physical pain, but it does nothing about the internal pain you’re feeling.
And that is what both forms of bullying have in common: they’re not entirely physical; they are mental. They feed you pain and make it all about your reality to the point that it seems to be the only thing that you know. You look around, and that is all you see. You can’t see a way out of the problem, and they just won’t stop coming for you. And sadly, many don’t make it through the ordeal.
Personally, I’ve never been a victim of bullying, but I’m old enough to know what it actually is, and I’ve also seen reports of such cases. A few years back, the entire country was shaken when students in a popular private school here in Nigeria bullied their classmate until they killed him. Prior to that, there were reports that the parents had reported the matter, but nothing much happened until the boy tragically passed, and I believe his death was linked to the bullying.
But then, here’s the thing: afterward, what happened? Nothing! The bullies continued going to school, the school didn’t pay any price for what they allowed to happen, and life just went on. Except for the victim and his family, of course. How can parents ever recover from such a harrowing event?
In the same vein, I’ve seen people get bullied online. People are harassed, and it’s actually easier to do it online because here people believe that they are safe from the repercussions of such actions. And so, they double down. That’s why someone living in the slums will comfortably broke-shame another person living in the city, and they’d think they’re living life. Online bullying has gotten so bad that many people have abandoned business prospects and endorsement deals just for the sake of their mental health. And there are also moments where people resorted to taking their own lives because of how much their reputation was butchered by the people of the internet. It was terrible.
Both of these are bad because they affect the victims mentally. Long after victims treat the physical pain, long after they close down their accounts, they still feel the sting of their ordeal. I wish people would stop being so mean and terrible to others, just for the sake of it. Because when you think about it, there is literally no point to being a bully. There is no gain whatsoever, except the sick and sadistic pleasure that they gain from inflicting pain. A show of power that always ends in tears.
But then, if real change is to happen, we have to make sure that bullies don’t get off easy anymore. Because it’s human nature, as long as they believe that they can get away with it, they will have no reason to ever change.
We need to do better!
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