Growing up, we didn't have the luxury of owning rooms to ourselves. We were constantly in each other's faces and there was no room for privacy and it happened that our lives were intertwined.
Being in such little space meant we had to do many things together. With the knowledge that we didn't even have a big space to ourselves, we unconsciously began to live our lives for ourselves. So many activities too had to bs done together, since our parents made sure we grew a strong bond and got involved in each other's lives. One of such minute habits that glued the bond was eating together. Depending on the meal, we may eat individually(like rice), be shared amongst ourselves(for soup) or eat all together(for pap and fries). Well, there weren't many rules at my house when it came to food. It was one way we bonded -eating togetger- whether amongst us as siblings or with our parents. And food is one thing that isn't to be joked with back at my house. Eating well was a must. And eating together was a practice which we've upheld until date that means a lot to us.
During these meal times, because we ate in the living room and not on a dining, we spent the time seeing something on TV or just conversing. It was always an experience. The memories I have of all those times come laddled with laughter. Mine is a close-knit, happy family.
We bonded by eating together, seeing shows, trading tales(watching our parents bant themselves and laughing at their punchlines and picking sides) and also by doing music, where some persons play drums on the table, with toothbrushes clapping against bottles, some using their hands and others singing and/or dancing. This, we didn't do because of devotions, but at anytime of the day, just to have fun.
Phones, especially present day androids weren't a thing then. And when eventually they came to be, I don't remember it pulling us apart one bit, maybe because the social media platforms flooding all over weren't all available. What was available at the time was 2go, wapdam, waptrick, Wikipedia, and some others.
They were exciting but didn't divide attention.
Or maybe, we didn't have to bother about losing that touch because no one is addicted to using their phones. We all can stay on our phones for long but growing up, I'd watch my brother(s) put away their phone when an older sibling or our parents was speaking to them. Even in times of random conversation, I'd notice that not one of them would pick an incoming call. But I don't remember anyone rebuking another for using his phone when he was being spoken to. No one could have. I'd say it happend out of respect.
And until date, even as grown adults, when we come together, we don't have to talk anyone to put away their phones and just give total attention or, beg them to enjoy family time. I'm easily the one who would still stay on her phone even when everyone has put theirs aside.
Bonding comes easily to us. Playing amongst ourselves and catching fun also comes easily to us. I want to think that every one of us valued and enjoyed those unplanned family moments hence, the ease with which we neglected whatever that would cause wavering attention llike our gadgets.
We currently own family whatsspp groups; one for my immediate family, the other for the larger home. And that's where we get to stay connected amongst ourselves inspite of distance. Pondering on this, asides the time when one or two persons raise their phones to take pictures or video memories, we're always looking at each other's faces , watching their expressions and registering our presence. I can say that it's a family thing - the larger family.
In a family where phone use is a distraction, i feel like its okay to implement a rule against the use of it during meal-time and catching,up moments, whether or not the individuals involved are adults. This family time takes short minutes and we know that as growth comes, the time for it may not be as much as it was duting childhood, so why not put down that device for that little thirty minutes and behold the faces of the people who love you?
Whether holding the phone is for work or not, we all know thatvpeople create time fir what they cherish. And i certainly cherish my family moments.
There is no need to implement what already is. It's a habit we all grew up with- giving ourselves undivided attention and since it stuck with us, there's nothing to bother about.
Thanks for gracing this post.
Greetings!