A few years ago, something happened that threw my family into a state of hysteria. Something terribly sad happened that almost tore us apart. Not our bond as a home, cause if anything, it united us all the more. Without going into details, I would just say that everything happened because of someone else's indiscretion and jealousy, somewhat.
And you know what? I don't think I could ever paint a picture of how big this issue was, but maybe that's okay. It was something that had us confused and restless and hurt and disappointed. While it didn't seem like we'd see the light soon, we eventually got through it. To this day, from when I was a kid until my present age, I've never experienced something as big happen to us. Actually, we're never ones involved in such incidents , so that one, seemingly the first, shook us(me).
I may be speaking for the rest of my family, or not, when I say that that was the most unforgivable thing anyone had done us. I don't know if anyone at home has forgiven, and I don't know if I have. Maybe I have. Maybe because we did come out in one piece. Maybe because I don't feel bile rush up my throat when I think about or talk about that event. Nah, I never put it in my heart to forgive, I can't think of it that way lest I feel like I'm doing wrong to me and my family. Do you eber think i could just wipe out the memories of that time?
Forgiving is possible but forgetting? Nah, I don't think so. If I do forget, how would I narrate the above incident as the prompt took my mind back to it? I feel like forgiving and forgetting stand as two different clauses. I see people throw the words around, and I get where they're coming from. I advocate that people forgive. Bearing angst and grudge is so shuffling and downcasting, and it doesn't seem right that I, the one who's been wronged, goes about with a heavy heart rather than the one who wronged me The whole idea of forgiveness doesn't eliminate what has occurred. It doesn't put me and my offender pn hood/relating terms. It simply is about me not dwelling in that hurt, letting myself drown in negative emotions and thus affecting my energy and my relationship with others and attitude to life.
There could be degrees to these wrongs, as some are easy to get over while others sting deep. It's only important that one feels the emotion in that moment but picks up the lessons by the next and gets on to other things
I read a book titled "I forgive for my sake," and it was packed either insights.
I used to be one to hold a lot of grudge. I could stay mad at a person for as long as ever, only that I had a scanty memory as to the person's action or wrongdoing that made me mad at them.
But when I decided to not let that be me and from taking the lessons in the book which described how holding grudge is more detrimental to my wellbeing than to my offender who may not even give a hoit but may be having the time of their lives, I realized how freeing letting go can be.
But forgetting? I don't think that's easy. The event and memory, although one has forgiven, will stay lodged at the back of the mind until something probes its remembrance.
Thanks for gracing this post.
Greetings!