Since my childhood,I was very calm,I was shy, I realized I'm someone that doesn't like talking much . I keep quiet a lot, I rather keep mute than argue with people. I hated the idea of someone telling me I'm wrong,so I choose to keep mute. People believed them that I was very respectful and obedient but little so they know I didn't want to be obedient but was running from confronting and speaking up for myself.
As I grow more that I begin choose friends, infant I was not the one that chooses them but they choose me because I'm always on my own ,even in class ,it affected me ,I only answer questions I'm sure of in presence of everyone, you know there are some times while teaching,teacher will ask a random question and would want anyone who knows or has the idea to speak up, once I'm not sure of that answer, I will keep mute,at the end my answer I refuse trying to say do comes right . It affected me then back in school that people sometimes think I'm dull, I wasn't dull,I was running from been heard .
So, whenever my friend does something wrong to me, I lock up rather than speaking out, we used to say I keep malice then,I don't think we use "ghosting" then, we use "malice"I cut ties with such person and they also move back since they see I didn't reciprocate their lovely attitude towards me anymore without them even knowing what they did wrong.
There was this incident I remembered vividly. Few years back, a friend of mine was dating a married man, she introduced him to me ,she is a single mother then because she got pregnant as soon as we wrote our final paper in secondary school and has no one to claim the pregnancy,so after some years ,she introduced this man to me, explaining he is married but she told him ,she can't leave him them and he aggred that he just wants to build another family outside of his marriage. Well, I couldn't advice her not to be in the relationship because she has a child already,it's logical she will only see a man that's married too.
A day came and she came to tell me that this man inform her that her wife at home gave birth to a new baby and said she should attend the naming ceremony, she told me and said she wants me to go with her,so it won't be her alone. Well, I accepted to go with her but something I wasn't expecting happened when we got there , I came to realize that his wife was just the same age as us ,as my friend, a very young lady, a very young marriage of 3 years .
It was so surprising to me, I expected the marriage to be a least more than 15years or so because the man is quite old,not young to expect him to just have a marriage of 3 years. I get to know my friend knew about this all, that the marriage is still young. After seeing that woman, I was so disturbed,I do not wish this to me reason why I won't support it happen to my fellow woman. The relationship between me and my friend needs that day. When I got home, I blocked her number. I ghosted her completely,she trying getting in touch with me but I didn't give her space . That was the end, maybe she knew it was because of that or not, I don't know because I didn't explain anything to her.
But if you asked me now, if I wished my actions then can be reversed? I will say yes because as I grow more older and experience life ,I understand one can live expecially this world as it is now, polluted with wicked people, you have to stand up and talk, say your mind even when you know it might not be welcomed. I'm now a changed person , I speak whenever I wish to speak,infact ,I don't let any discussion pass me by. If I can reverse my actions then ,I would have called her explain more and shed more light on the issue for her, who knows, I might be able to convince her and she will walk out of the relationship.
That's a very one I could remember I "Ghosted" .
