Our parents did try to take care of us when we were little. Some sacrifice their all for us to take care of us to become who we are today.
It's well known in Africa that as your parents took care of you when you were small, you have to, in turn, take care of them when they are old, making sure you return the love and energy they put into training you as a child. When you are not seen doing that, then you are not filial.
Parents should try taking care of themselves as much as they sacrifice for their kids cause not all children can give you the care you deserve. Plan for your old age equally. My father will say I don't want to be a burden to you all; you didn't ask to be born; I chose to give birth to you all.
So taking care of me is not a must but I want to see you doing well for yourselves and anyone that comes out you can extend to me. Sometimes, he will say a sickness that has started eating millions and millions of money, you people should allow me to die 'cause that kind of sickness eventually used to take the person's life.
In as much he said that, notwithstanding, we still send things to him.
Now at the topic for today, retirement home or stay with family.
If you can take care of your parents while in your house as a male or female, then let them stay at home with family, and if you already have children who can run errands for them. Send one or two to be with her and you make sure you visit them.
If you are so busy you can't take care of them, please send them to retirement homes, but make sure to always check on them every week to avoid stories that touch the heart. I don't see a retirement home as a place to discard the elderly but to keep them safe. Instead of keeping them at home because of your busy schedule, you can't take proper care of them.
I have a little story about a neighbor, I pity her so much cause her mother has become a big burden to that lady; she finished her university education at the age of 24, and just as she finished her national youth service, her mother had a stroke.
It wasn't all that bad at first; she got a good-paying job, and all her other siblings were busy, but they were all in the same state. She took the mother to them since they were married, but they returned her back to her barely three weeks, and she has been the one taking care of her mother.
She employed someone who would care for her mother while she was at work, but the lady was maltreating her mother, with the excuse that the mother was picky.
She can't leave her job, and her seniors are not bringing enough money for her mother's upkeep, so she suggests they take her mother to older people's homes. All the siblings refused. How can they take their mother, who suffered for them there? What will people say?
Let's share the routine, let her stay in my house for one month, then next month, your house they all refused. She is the only one catering for her mother; now, because of her mother, she can't go out except to work, and she doesn't even wait for work to close. She is back home to clean her up and feed her.
She couldn't even have a relationship cause there was no time to go out; now, the stroke is even worse; her mother doesn't stand up anymore. She has just clocked 39, has no child, and no relationship, why because anyone who comes to her leaves as she hardly has time for them because of her mother; she made the tough decision to send her mother to the elder home.
Now, after work, she can visit her mother every day. Even if you hire a nanny to take care of them in your house. They can still be maltreated and threatened; keeping them in your house or their house is almost the same as a retirement home. The only difference is that they are familiar with the environment. If you will keep them at home, always monitor or keep CCTV in your house. As for me, I pray that before my parents are so old that they will need my care, let my children be of age to assist with some chores for them.
Both will work for me depending on my activity; in this case, whatever works for you towards your parent, do it, retirement home, or stay with you. But don't make it a burden to others.
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