There is nothing as beautiful and honorable as marriage. There is no doubt that marriage is an integral part of every culture even though the process varies.
I am an Isoko man from the Isoko tribe of delta state, Nigeria, and for the people of Isoko, the declaration of the man's intention to marry the woman, signifies the beginning of a life-long marital journey.
A typical Isoko marriage involves three steps which are the first visit, the second visit, and the bride price payment.
FIRST VISIT
On the first visit, the intended groom parents and some family members will visit the intended bride’s home to introduce themselves and make their interests known. Upon their arrival, they would be entertained with kola nut and drinks by the intended bride’s parents. In addition to that, the bride's family will support the kola nut with some amount of money since it'seen as a taboo for kola nut to sit on a plate alone in our tradition.
When all necessary kola nut ritual has been done by the intended bride's parents to welcome their visitors, the groom's parents will in return, reciprocate by offering the intended bride's family their own drinks and kola nut but this time around, they will be supporting the kola nut with twice the amount the bride's parents used in supporting theirs.
At the end of everything, the intended bride's parents will then ask their visitors the reason they are visiting. The intended groom's parents will now introduce themselves and then make their intention known to the intended bride’s parents. The discussion that comes after that will decide if the intended groom and his parents will have to come for the second visit.
SECOND VISIT
During the second visit which is also called the introduction ceremony, the intended groom and his family members will present different type of drinks and kola nut to the intended bride's family. Just like the first visit, the kola nut rituals will likewise be done the same way and after all that is done, the intended bride will now be summoned and will be asked to point at the man she wants to marry.
When she must have identified him, she will be asked again if she is sure she wants to truly marry him. If she answers in affirmation that she wants to marry him, that's only when the gifts that were presented will be accepted and the marriage list will then be given to the intended groom. The marriage list is the list of items required by the intended bride’s parents which is given to the intended bride to buy or in some cases, pay the momentary equivalent.
We must note that it is important and also customary for the intended bride’s parents to introduce the intended groom to some of their family member and the intended groom must try and visit these people one after the other, fulfilling every request they ask of him. After the list must have been given to them and the visitations done, a date for the payment of bride price.
THE BRIDE PRICE
The bride price payment is a very significant part of the traditional marriage. This is the day the families of both the intended groom and bride come together and agree on the bride price before payment is made. If the man is an Isoko man, there is always this special consideration given to him in terms of the amount to pay. He is asked to pay $1.50 but if he is not an Isoko man, then he will be paying the sum of $2.50. This price is not fixed though since the elders do review the price from time to time.
The language used during the traditional marriage is very important to the Isoko tribe. And so, during the traditional marriage rites, no other language is spoken except isoko language. Even if the groom is a foreigner and does not understand the language. He is expected to hire someone called otuta to help him interpret the language.
During the traditional marriage, the groom is expected to wear an Isoko traditional attire whether he is an isoko man. He is to tie a wrapper with an etibo top, a bowler hat and a walking stick. The bride on the other hand is expected to tie a lace or a George fabric with Gele, and she is also expected to wear two different attires on that day. One for the first outing and the other which is the same attire as that of the groom for the second outing.
At the end of the traditional marriage, the bride is given to her husband. But before he leaves with his bride, the bride family designates some persons (always bride relatives) to escort the bride to her husband house. After they must have escorted the bride to her husband house and are about to come back, the family of the groom gives them a goat and also distributes salts to all the married women among those who escorted her.
CONCLUSION
It is important to let us know that the marriage committee of any Isoko community, do issue a marriage certificate to the couple during the traditional marriage and this marriage certificate is recognised in every part of Isoko land.
Any Isoko marriage where the marriage certificate isn't issued, tends not to be recognized traditionally. This is to tell how important the marriage certificate is.
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