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At the early years of my relationship, when my husband and I were in a our dating phase, I can recall that I got to know that he was still talking to his ex at that time. There were numerous questions that ran through my head when I discovered - How often do dey talk? What do they talk about? Why are they talking?
It wasn't a pleasant situation to think about because I was frightened and bothered as to the level of their so-called friendship. However, is it really worth the concern and attention? Yes, it is 100% normal to feel uneasy when you get to know that your partner is still friends with their ex. This is because it is unclear the level of intimacy that exist between them, be it emotional, physical, intellectual or spiritual. Also, the reason or intention for staying in contact isn't known as well.
It is quite difficult for people to come to terms with the fact that a person can be friends with an ex especially when it is a romantic relationship. When there is a constant communication between exes it is believed that those romantic moments they had shared together in the past can be easily reignited. However, it may not always be so.
I was not comfortable with him still being friends with his ex. So, we finally discussed about it after I have been infuriated for some days. We're were able to prevent the problems that could loom from that friendship. I believe that if such friendship had existed, it will bring a lot of controversies and arguments to us every now and then.
It is almost impossible for some exes to be friends even after breakup considering the circumstances that surrounds it. There are relationships that ended with serious issues that could not be resolved so it is difficult for such people to still be friends. That brings us to the question of why some exes are still friends and it may include trying to resolve issues and make amends so as to facilitate their healing process. Well, this kind of friendship can make a person confused and make it hard to decide on whether to stay or not.
There are people who are open to being friends with their ex. They and their current partner have nothing against it. Infact, the ex refers people to their business and they are all happy. When there could a need to raise alarm is when your partner gets defensive when your ask questions about his or her ex. It is a big red flag if these concerns are not adequately addressed with an open mind.
It is important to suggest to your partner that he or she should set boundaries with their ex if it is beginning to pose a threat to your relationship. You can suggest to your partner to keep every details about your relationship private from their ex. Not that he or she will e looking for a shoulder to cry on when you have normal relationship issues. You may come to an agreement that you want to be an active part of the friendship (if they insist on the friendship).