Retirement homes are not a very popular thing in my part of the world. I think it’s because people can barely afford a living itself. Maslow’s hierarchy holds more of the rationale to this. If you get me.
With that said, I think that if more people could afford retreating to retirement homes, it’s something that would’ve been very common here as well, just like it is in many western countries. But since that is not the case, the question of whether I personally would’ve been pro-retirement home or not for myself and my loved ones is a question I haven’t given much thought.
What is the point of putting someone in a retirement home?
Isn’t the entire purpose of retreating to a retirement homes about being comfortable and just enjoying old age? If that is the case, as long you’re comfortable and enjoying, does it really matter whether you’re retiring in a place labelled as a “retirement home” or in your family house? I don’t think so. Does that mean I am against old people being sent to retirement homes? Not exactly.
There’s no black or white to anything in life until you define the circumstances surrounding it
Some circumstances might warrant sending your loved ones off to retirement homes, even against your will. For instance, in cases where your loved ones are retiring but also need specialized care, like the ones typically provided in hospice, that likely means that is the best thing for them regardless of whether you want it or not.
You might love your parents, or whoever “old person” is in your case to death, but you’re no health professional, and you’ll be doing them no favors forcing them to stay with you. Dealing with people that have Alzheimer’s is not something many people can bear, but hospice homes for instance have professionals whose entire practice is built around taking care of people in those age brackets and in some cases, with specific conditions.
It’s interesting how human beings grow – start out as a child, mature into an adult, grow into so much of an adult that at some child, your body becomes childish again. At this point, just like when they were children, they require a lot of care and attention. Their bodies are not as strong to fight off diseases anymore and they’re vulnerable as ever, with their ability to discern and make judgements also compromised. If you have a busy work schedule and a family that is not around the house most of the days, this could be another circumstance that forces your hand towards considering retirement homes.
But even with all these variables, the decision still isn’t 100% yours
Humans have rights, and when it comes to your loved ones, it’s not just about rights, but about valuing them enough to ask for their input when making decisions that affect them. So before sending that granny off to a retirement home, perhaps a “Is this what you want” would not be a terrible conversation to have with them, because much as you want what is good for them, to a large extent, their own wants and needs matter too. If they want to spend their last few years around their family to create memories, it won’t be too bad an idea to consider making your house their retirement home as long as it will not affect you or your family adversely.
All images are mine