Marriage for me is an institution ordained by God. An institution because it's like a school which is exclusive to two people only and these two people together teach themselves, they both learn from each other and another of their greatest tutors is the Holy Spirit. Everytime I think about marriage, I do not only see two people in love who chose themselves to live together for the rest of their lives. I see it more as an assignment, from no one but the creator.
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Marriage is sweet and very interesting but it's never always blissful. If you go into marriage for the wrong reasons, it will not go well. So it's important to understand what marriage is and why it was created before you marry. The question isn't why you should marry but why was marriage created. If you know why it was created, then you can tell if you should marry or not.
WHY WAS MARRIAGE CREATED?
(1.) In Genesis 2:28, as the creation story progressed, God said it wasn't good for Adam to stay alone so he created a helper for him. Here, the first essence of marriage is portrayed - companionship and help. We all need a companion, we all need help so you can marry for these reasons. Whenever I look at my parents I just feel like getting married today 😩 My dad is such a sweet man. He goes to the market every time unless he is not around. My mum barely does that. He assists my mum in cooking. He'll pound crayfish 😂 Sometimes I'll be sleeping sef. I love to see it!
The way my parents complement each other is so adorable. My dad is hot tempered but my mum is very calm. She cautions him and keeps him out of trouble 😂 My dad is hardworking, he assists her on most physical jobs. My dad is forgetful but my mum is calm and collected, she's always keeping things in place for him. I'm always praying to marry a man like my dad.
(2.) For procreation.
Also in Genesis, God instructed man to go and multiply, meaning procreate. One may say but you can procreate without marriage, yes you can. But for Christians it's called adultery and fornication. God's intention for procreation was meant to be done in marriage only. The scripture says a man shall leave his parents and become " one" with his wife. One in body, soul and spirit. (I cannot buttress this point because this isn't the focus of the prompt).
(3.) To avoid sexual temptations and satisfying sexual desires (1 Corinthians 7:2–5)
Paul in his letter addressed the issue of sexual desires. As married couples, you have an assignment to satisfy your partner and not deprive him/her so they won't be tempted to give in to immorality.
Having discussed a few reasons why marriage was created according to the scripture, I'll love to also share my idea on tools necessary for a successful knowledge.
(1.) The Right Partner
Very often there's been an argument that there's no such thing as soul mate meaning that no one person is meant for another person. If you didn't choose to marry a certain guy that was so good to you, it doesn't imply that if you marry someone else you'll have a bad marriage. While this is true, it is also very important to choose your life partner properly. The person you decide to marry contributes greatly to the success and failure of your marriage.
In the scripture, Mary got pregnant and Joseph wanted to call off their engagement privately. God sent an angel to him and he listened. He married Mary and stayed through till she fulfilled her assignment of birthing the saviour.
When you choose a life partner, ask yourself if he/she is submissive to God's will. Do they look like they'll ever submit? As a Christian you should marry a fellow Christian. Someone who shares your faith and values. It's not a total guarantee but it will make the journey easier.
The right partner in my opinion must exhibit the 9 fruits of the holy spirit which includes love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, & self-control. In summary, he must be a man filled with the holy spirit because if the Spirit dwells in a man, the fruits will be observable.
(2) Obedience
I feel like this particular point summarizes everything I intend to say. Obedience to what? to who? Obedience to God and his commandments. In all honesty if we submit to the biblical standards of marriage, we wouldn't have rampant failures in marriage.
What are God's rules on marriage that we need to obey?
(2A.) Submissiveness and Love (Ephesians 5:22-23)
Submission is one word that causes quite a stir whenever marriage is mentioned. Women are instructed to submit to men. Why? It is because a man is the head of the home. And if you marry right, you won't have a problem submitting to a man because you know he's led by God and the holy spirit. You can trust his judgement and decisions. Men in turn are asked to love their wives. It can be observed that both parties have an assignment. Men were not asked to submit to their wives because a boss doesn't submit to his assistant. He can listen, ask for counsel, be corrected but he is still in charge. Does that mean the woman should be enslaved? No! The passage further tells men that while the woman is submitting, show some love! Injure her with love😂
Daughter of two amazing parents 😌♥️
When I look at my mum, I pray for grace to be better. A certain time life was challenging and contracts weren't coming so my dad was at home. My mum was being paid 10k then, for being the head teacher in a school that was just beginning. Every month I watched my mum quietly dropping her complete payment in an envelope on top of the fridge in their bedroom. Our house is so small that you can always overhear conversations. I listen to my parents put heads together on how to manage 10k. In our world today, I can bet that not 50% of women can do this. Today women will say it's my money, I worked for it. Designer bags here and there. Who would stay with a man and give him all her earnings, sacrificing her needs for her husband and welfare of her children?
Marriage needs sacrifice to work
It will never always be in your favour. You will not always get it all. Sometimes compromise, sacrifice and keep the home moving.
(2B) Loyalty and Appropriate Prioritization (Matt 19: 4-6)
Numerous times, I've come across comedies where a mother and wife are struggling for the front seat of the car and the son is just there looking helpless. Why on earth will your wife be in the car with her husband and mother-in-law and she's in the back seat? Not because she wants to but because her husband's mother is challenging her? The scripture says a man will leave his parents and "Cling" to his wife! Do you know what that means? It means your wife is your priority, your loyalty now lies with her before your parents. As a woman, your man comes first too before your family.
(2C) Chastity in marriage (Hebrews 13:4)
This point also falls under loyalty but it addresses another aspect of loyalty which is faithfulness. Cheating is a dishonourable act. It should not occur in marriage. Unfaithfulness from the man or woman can lead to failure in marriage.
(2D) Understanding / Communication (1 peter 3:7)
Marriage cannot thrive without understanding. And for an understanding to exist, there must be communication. It is important to view marriage as a partnership. That's because as written in the scripture, every decision you make directly or indirectly affects your partner.
You may wonder why my opinion is centred on the scriptures. It's because to me, the very first place I learnt about marriage is in the Bible which is a tool of the One who ordained marriage, it is the only trusted source for me.
There's a lot more to say but I don't want my post to be extremely lengthy. I'll summarize by saying that marriage is beyond a glamorous party. It's an assignment and institution of two people who are conscious of the purpose to which marriage was ordained and have determined to live accordingly, loving, nurturing and growing till infinity. There may be bad marriages occurring everywhere but I'm lucky to be born out of a peaceful, honourable and God guided marriage. I hope we all get to experience the same. Shalom!
About The Author
I am a witty, adventurous and nicheless writer who loves to sing, take pictures, teach and travel. I am currently an English Education student at the University of Nigeria Nsukka. I am also a young children's teacher who homeschools kids during holidays. I love to share my life experiences through writing with the hope of inspiring as many people as possible on the Hive space.