We all must have heard really funny stories of the things people go through due to traffic. I myself have heard these stories and they really used to be funny until I was a victim. Traffic is a big joy killer I must say. There are days you don't mind staying in a long queue because you probably ordered a ride and it turned out to be a very comfortable car and you just want to keep sitting there and enjoying the cool music, air condition and maybe luckily the driver is good looking and communication is going smoothly but on those days the road will be free from traffic.
Yet there are days where your laps are clasp tightly to each other and your eyes are shut and you're praying in spirit that a miracle will happen and you'll have a smooth and fast ride to your destination because your stomach is rumbling and you're trying to hold the disastrous fart from escaping from "down there" because who knows? You might end up doing more than just farting. Awful right?😖 That was one of my experiences!
I was coming back from class and I was hurrying towards the shuttle park where I could board the school's shuttle bus to my house. I was so pressed! I have no idea what I ate that day. I had just moved to the east and my system had a really hard time adjusting to the food served in the eastern region. I could barely find my local dishes over there so I had to settle for what was available. I successfully made it to the shuttle park and I had to start praying that the bus gets filled quickly so I can just get home and free my stomach from the burden of holding in unwanted and improperly digested food.
After a few minutes the bus was filled and the bus spring into a moving action. I kept my fingers crossed because I heard it stopped things you didn't want to happen from happening and in that moment I didn't want to poo in my clothes and on the bus! Can you imagine the humiliation? No, a fine girl can't do this.
But traffic is a beast isn't it? As we got close to the gate that would lead us out of the school premises, we met a really long queue. I don't know what happened but we stayed there for a while. At this time I had started sweating profusely and my eyes were teary. I couldn't hold the fart any longer so I tried to release it slowly. The next thing I felt was a quick, hot, wet release and I knew instantly that I was doomed! I quickly stopped and sat still. Anyone looking at me at that moment would have seen that blood had drained off my face.
I was seated in the middle of the bus so I began to wonder how I'll get out. You know I'll have to bend to pass and whoever I'll be passing in front of, would definitely smell the terrible odour of poop. The end of the story is that I finally got home looking like a lamb taken to the altar for sacrifice. I didn't say hello to my neighbours. I walked gently to my house and dashed into the toilet. It was such a joy to be alive! I had to open all the windows and doors to let the stink out.
This experience taught me to never settle for any kind of food. This is one of the major reasons why I'm very picky when it comes to what I consume. Whatever tastes awful or makes my stomach upset, I reject. I always formed the habit of putting the drug Flagyl in my school bag. It stops one from purging. To you all, please be careful what you consume. I don't wish this to happen to anyone else.
Original images by Koushik Pal and Emiliano Vittoriosi on Unsplash. Edited by me using Canva
