Whenever I look at how my life is and who I have become, I never cease to appreciate my parents for the labor they did in my life.
While I was a kid, I grumbled, I felt disturbed, I felt caged by their watch over my life. Sometimes I felt like their prisoner, it was like they were restricting me from soaring as high as I wanted, I never knew all those boundaries and limitations were for my good.
Today, I feel blessed and grateful that they were there to watch over me. I wished they doubled the restrictions.
Being a good parent is something everyone wants but becoming one is not as easy as it sounds. Many people started out well but fizzled out along the line.
It is not enough to have experience from raising a child or more, as a parent one needs to have a very good knowledge of how to raise children, if possible buy books and do proper research.
In fact, before a couple starts thinking of giving birth, they should have that knowledge already.
Sometimes we spoil things because of ignorance. I have seen parents in the name of not wanting their children to go wayward become so protective, monitoring the kids like spies, intruding into their privacies and going to extents they shouldn't and funny enough, those kids ended up becoming a mess.
It is not wrong to want to protect your child from this evil generation but you have to be smart, they say "Too much of everything is bad." Everything has limits, every parent should learn to know their boundaries if not they may end up complicating things for the children.
I am beginning to think that some kids end up becoming introverts, overly calm, low self esteemed, antisocial, etc, due to the influence of their parents and don't get me wrong, sometimes it's not the parents fault, they caved those kids that way unconsciously in the name of protecting them from the world.
On the other hand, some parents gave their children too much liberty, they thought allowing the children to enjoy their lives and explore for themselves would make them great but in the end, they had terrible results.
Becoming a successful parent is not a day job. I seriously respect all parents, even the ones that failed, I know some of them tried.
We can talk about this issue and end up making the same mistake if we don't take caution and learn from their mistakes. Amongst many things that can make anyone successful I know is knowledge. The earlier we start learning this thing the better for us all.
I won't say I have a formula for anyone to become a good parent, but I have a few tips that might be of help.
1 . Establish a good relationship with your child: a lot of people suffer trying to monitor their children because they don't know their children for themselves.
They can't tell what their children are capable of, they themselves know that they have failed the kids in impacting the proper attributes, so, they want to use force to compel them to walk uprightly.
As a parent, if you have a good relationship with your child, there is nothing that the child will keep from you.
If you have established this ground with your child, you need to now learn how to maintain trust by not being over reactive when they share certain things with you. I am not saying you shouldn't scold them, of course, you should but know your limit, the end result of everything should be love and not the rod.
That will make the child feel free to tell you more next time. From this point, you will know your boundaries when monitoring such a child because you know the child.
2 Watch smartly: there is how a parent can monitor their children without the children feeling bound: sometimes you need to allow your kids to go out and see their friends. Allow them to bring their friends home too, especially when you are around.
This will make them feel happy and you as a parent will know the kind of friends your children keep. It will help you in knowing the exact morals you should press more on.
Being overprotective can make a child become a hypocrite, being a saint at home but a devil outside. Whether a parent likes it or not, the child will go out someday and when that happens, you never can tell what the child will do.
3 . Train them in the right way and don't ever stop: if we impact godliness in our children, we don't need to panic about anything. Those good morals will go with them anywhere.
4 . Don't interrogate, ask friendly questions: when you notice something off, don't be the police, they are your kids. Sit them down and ask them questions like they are your children. These will make them free to talk to you.
5 . Master their moves, you have been with your child from day one, and you ought to know when they are lying or telling the truth, when they are okay, and when they are not.
From the way they talk, you should be able to detect the truth, there is no need to stalk your child and make life uncomfortable for them, they also need their space. They are your kids but they have rights and ought to be happy and free as well.
Being a good parent requires wisdom and smartness. If we want to be one, we must prepare ourselves for it.