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In recent times, a lot of controversies have arouse concerning the subject of love, before going into this questions let me start by giving a definition of love based on my perspective
WHAT IS LOVE?
In my own perception of the concept called love, I believe love is an extension of affection, a symbiotic and telepathic feeling between two individuals or partners. But the question is, is that what love is in recent time?
Has our society is evolving due to new occurrence happening all around us, we are getting accustomed to some things that we never knew existed.
DOES LOVE NEED A PRICE?
Due to the way our environment is structured certain things have been imported into our lifestyle and orientation of how things should be. in a relationship between two individuals, the male counterpart in most relationship has always been put in the caretaker position in a relationship. certain responsibility has dumped on the male figures in a relationship due to certain factors that has affected our environment.
love is meant to be symbiotic not parasitic, there shouldn't be any sense of entitlement or forced responsiblity either on the male or female counterpart each individual are meant to work hand in hand towards the survival of the relationships. Due to the parasitic nature of today's relationships many people now find it difficult to exchange their feelings with others, not because they don't have the capacity or the ability to talk to whosoever they have feelings for but they are unable to handle the pressure and responsibilities that comes with having relationship with a person.
There is a popular saying among lovers, that "he/she who loves the most in a relationship suffers the most". Due to our incapacity to comprehend the true meaning of love, many people now make use of love as a tool to influence and control other people's actions for their personal gain, without paying attention to the kind of effect it might have on such a person.
Does love need a price? in my perception of the concept of love, I believe love shouldn't have a price, Certain responsibilities shouldn't be forced on a person in the name of love. individuals should be able to express their affection among each other without the fear of being inferior or incapable. love should be shared as free as air without any strings attached. each party should have an understanding in the dating process, to know each others likes and dislikes, to understand each others capacity and capabilities. it should be understood that not all the price of love is materialistic in nature, there are some sacrifice made in love that does not involve the use of money.
It is quite unfortunate that in today's relationships, during the dating stage. individuals spend more time enjoying junk foods and other irrelevant things than spending time on knowing each other.
DOES LOVE WORTH THE PRICE?
I have always pondered on this question, when i see the great length people go to in the name of love. in my experience so far, I believe this question is based on the kind of love you have endured or encountered. From my experience so far, I believe some love relationships are worth the price but not all. When you encounter some people and from the ways you have been treated by them you will go to extra lengths to provide for such a person when it is their time of need but is it everyone that reciprocate this action? from my research so far I have been unable to draw a clear line on this question.
I WILL LEAVE THIS QUESTION TO BE ANSWERED BY MY READERS.
FACTORS THAT HAVE INFLICTED SOME BELIEFS INTO THE PRACTICE OF LOVE.
1) PARENTS
As the first stage of socialisation of every child, parent play an important role of how children learn to perceive love. While growing up, A child that lives in a house where both parent engage in so much argument and violence with each other, such child after becoming a teenager will find it difficult to believe that there are other forms of love that exceed beyond his/her parent practice at home. such child due to the type of exposure he/she has at the early stage, such children always have issues expressing themselves, due to the fear of love. such children when they eventually have a relationship with a person they might inflict the same violence on their partner due to their childhood trauma.
Another scenario of parental effect, this mostly have effect on females than males. in house hold where the father has abandoned the mother with the children or the father had refused to person his responsibility in the household, such female when they reach maturity stage their orientation of men will be different from others. they will measure men the same way they have been treated. such females find it difficult to associate themselves with men and also they barely engage in a serious relationship and for those that will be willing to try they will be extremely picky in there choice of men. Due to their orientation of men being irresponsible.
The third scenario of parental influence, is a case when some parents willingly instruction and influence their children choice of partner. I have seen case of parents that will tell their children not to get in a relationship with guys without a good financial record. there example of good men are those won't luxurious houses and cars. this particular instruction get into such child head because parents serve as agent of trust, so anything they say goes unquestioned.
2) ENVIRONMENT
In Nigeria for instance, due to the harsh and stable environment we live, it has made a lot youths capricious in nature. this factor has deeply affected how love is meant to be practices. Individuals suffering from some needs like financial instability always end up having sense of entitlement in a relationship in other to provide for their immediate needs. majority now consider relationship to be a source of funds or a business enterprise due to the nature of the Environment.
3) PEER GROUP
This factor is popular among youths and especially females. Their circle of friends have a way of influencing their decision making when it comes matters of love. They educate themselves on what should be required and expected from their partners. They compare and contrast with their partners to know how effective any of the partner can perform their responsibilities. this has been a major reason why majority of relationship collapse.
KEY ELEMENTS OF SUCCESSFUL LOVE ORIENTED RELATIONSHIPS
1) UNDERSTANDING
each party should take time to understand each other, without a proper understanding among both party, they won't be able to know the do's and don't of exact other. this should be done at the dating stage where partners spend time with each other. this moment shouldn't be spent on just outings only. private times should be created for both parties to discuss about each other deeply.
2) COMMUNICATION
As we all know, communication is the key to every form of relation with anyone, there must be a good channel of interpersonal communication between both parties. A good channel of communication must be established in other for both parties to entertain and accommodate moment of discuss. through paying attention to each other, each part must be able to understand how to communicate to each and the kind of communication that is preferable to both parties. not all form of communication are verbal. in some relationships, some partners lack the ability to express how they feel and what they want in words, it is left to the other person to study what kind of gesture such person make use of in such situation, this also an example of creating a proper channel of communication.
3) TOLERANCE
Every partner and relationships have their flaws, since love is something builds as both party know each other more and more. as the love grows each party should be able to love each other enough to tolerate the difficulties and flaws of a relationship. There is a popular saying that says "love blemish all blemishes".
As the relationship proceeds some unintended factors will come into display but as a loving partner you should be able to navigate through such difficulty.
Thanks for reading, I appreciate everyone on hive for continuous support. As you all know my writings are description of my day to day lifestyle and thoughts, hope you understood as much as you could. You enjoy my writings? Kindly support my work by commenting,reblog and upvotes. It will be highly appreciated
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