Friendship is one thing I cherish the most, I always value each time and memory we always share, I cherish the good time, the hard time, the day we both agree and also the time we disagree, the moment we argue and and the time we settle, I see friendship as a gift because it takes only a truthful person to value what you both share and not find the fault in you always. So to the question of today, how much difference can a friendship carry before it begins to fall apart?
I remember a friend I was very close to back in school. We did almost everything together. We studied, played, and shared secrets, she is someone I called my own, we were staying in the same apartment but one thing I noticed about her was the way we saw life differently, most times we do not agree on the same page but that doesn't mean she was wrong or I was, we saw life from different perspectives
One area where we always had clash was the kind of people she chose to keep, I'm someone that love to be careful about people I move with but my friend thinks she can move with anyone and believe everyone is her friend, she is someone who would bring different kind of people to the apartment even if they are just meeting that day, she doesn't believe in studying human behavior before going deep into the relationship.
At first, I tried to overlook it, but as time went on, I realized our differences went deeper than that. It became harder to flow the way we used to, she always had issues about her perspective on life and the people she kept around but that doesn't mean I can just cut her off like that, That friendship made me learn something that we are not born of the same parents so our behavior can never be the same so If we expect friends to think, believe, and act the same way we do, then we’ll always be disappointed.
Friendship is not about sameness, it is about respect. Respect for each other’s views and choices, even when they don’t match ours, we should learn how to tolerate each other, tolerance doesn't mean we should force ourselves to live with what makes us unhappy, some differences can be managed with understanding, but others can break the peace in a friendship. I have had to step away from certain friendships in my life, not because the people were bad, but because the gap between us was too wide and holding on would have only brought tension and pain.
What I do now is that I try to balance things with my friends, I don't just cut them off quickly just because we aren't on the same page, what I do is try to listen and agree without misunderstanding each other but if I notice that our differences are creating constant fights or making me compromise my values, then I know it’s time to let go. Friendship is meant to bring peace, not struggle.
This is my response to this episode of Hivelearners community prompt of #hl-w184e03 which the topic is tagged FRIENDSHIPS
