Pain can be a transfer of aggression in so many ways, pain can leave a scar which can not easily fade, I have been through pain and I know how it hurts seriously, at some point it started to affect me because I lose trust in people and this hurt the most, I turned myself to a tool that is particular about revenge and the more I think about the pain the more I hurt people around me.
It happened few years back, I was in a serious relationship with this guy but to him I was just a play mate, I saw him as someone I can have future with but to him it was entirely a fling, I met this guy through a friend and we started this relationship, he promised to take the relationship to the next level so I put all my emotions into it.
After some years he started misbehaving and he did something that made me vow never to love any other person again, I left the relationship with a heavy heart and decided to pass the pain to anyone interested in having a relationship with me.
After a year I met another guy, this guy is so loving and caring but I didn't take him seriously the way he does, I started misbehaving hoping to get my revenge and move on with my life, I wasn't healed from the previous relationship and I dealt with this guy to the point that I knew I was satisfied.
This guy didn't leave me despite my actions towards him, I knew he loved me genuinely not for anything or my body, I say down and think that if I lose this man then it was due to my nonchalant and the anger that I was nursing in me, then I sat him down and explained my previous experience to him, he understood my actions and helped me heal from the pain and we started a fresh.
Now this man was the one who got married to me some months ago, I learned so much from him and never allow the pain of yesterday to affect my today, carrying anger felt like power at first, but in reality, it was controlling me, forgiving the person who hurt me was hard but I had no choice than to find a place in my heart to forgive and forget.
From my experience, I noticed that I had to forgive myself for the way I treated others because I was hurt, that was painful too but I had to let go, and for the fact that I didn't admit I was wrong because my friends tried to talk to me about I treated the guy then but I was so adamant but I realized that the only way to stop the circle was to take responsibility for my actions and choose differently.
So when I think about people who pass on trauma, I feel compassion for them, but I also believe they must take responsibility, pain can shape us, but it should not define us. The circle of pain will keep spinning until we decide to put a stop to it.
This is my response to this episode of Hivelearners community prompt of #HL-W185E01 which the topic is tagged CIRCLE OF PAIN
