I don't get surprised by people's behaviour anymore because being the type that always wants to help others has put me in so much trouble that I didn't see coming. I made a lot of those decisions with my heart instead of my brain and wouldn't blame myself much since it's difficult for me to have and not assist someone in need not to talk of a friend.
The most annoying part of me is that I keep doing that silly thing with the hope of the next person not stabbing me in the back until I made up my mind to only render assistance that wouldn't leave me with regret in the long run. My little experience with assisting people has put me among the caliber of those who expect less from others, it's impossible not to reach this stage after getting betrayed several times.
I have had different experiences and shared some on my blog before now. The impact of this betrayal hits me differently and I will share a particular one that I wasn't expecting. The person involved was a very friend even though he is older than me.
He was a senior colleague at work but we became friends since we interact every day. We shared personal issues and I was silly to believe that we have grown past just a work relationship.
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It happened that another colleague invited me to join a monthly thrift at work so I told my friend about it and we agreed to join. We did twenty thousand monthly and it lasted a year.
The first year was kind of rough because some people wanted to switch numbers to shorten their collection time due to an emergency. It started with one person and a few other people took advantage of it as well which we later discovered and it even caused quarrels among us.
To avoid the issues that happened the first time, we made a rule that anyone who wants to switch numbers with be charged 5% of the money and surprisingly, no one needed to swap their collection time even until the middle of the thrift.
The law was effective because nobody wanted to lose 5% of their money but my friend eventually needed his money before his collection time and since my collection time was near, we swapped without involving anyone. The idea was to help him save the 5% but I should have just let him lose the money.
I got the alert and sent him a hundred and twenty thousand which he needed so went he got his contribution, he will give me the half as well. Everything was fine until it got to his turn, he got the money and started giving excuses.
First, it started with having bank issues, he went on to his child having health complications and other silly lies. To avoid being faulted by others, I didn't share the issue with anyone but it hurt because I also had plans for my money.
I kept my cool until I heard from someone that my friend just got a bigger apartment. I couldn't stop laughing because I was really stupid to have been quiet about it. This guy is a very respected person so I gave him a preview of my madness at the office one morning and he sent half of the money out of shame.
He went on to pay the balance in three months and it was the end of our friendship. We still greeted at work but there was nothing personal between us again, we returned to being just colleagues and nothing more.
I am terrible with ghosting people so I didn't cut him off, I heard a few shitty things he said about me but it honestly didn't bother me.
The experience taught me to always put myself into consideration when dealing with people financially but I didn't learn the lesson because I still messed myself up while trying to help someone retain his job after being sacked by the company. The thought of his survival pushed me and I ran into a huge debt for doing that.
At this stage of my life, I only do favours that I am capable of, I do things that wouldn't affect me even if the person decides to be an ingrate.