I do not know if it has in other countries too, but over here, especially when I was still very young, I often heard some people say that men or boys don't cry; it is a sign of weakness. This was something that people easily said everywhere, mostly in schools, on the street, in my neighborhood, on the playground, and even in churches and homes at times. Right from a very young age, we men have been subdued not to show our pains and continue acting like nothing is wrong even though we are bleeding inside. But guess what, we are humans too.
And now that we are even grown up, the pressure on us seems to be tripled in a way that we do everything possible to stay calm in all situations, most especially when things might not be going as expected. Rent is due, kids are looking up to us,us and we have expectations from loved ones, still we protect and provide. These are some of the things the society looks at even when he's dying inside.
Nowadays, there is this thing called men's advocate where they say we should always speak up and always be open, but as sweet as this looks, it is very complex, and that is the truth. Because at the moment when we start doing this, the majority of people will tag us as “weak men” with X tweets and down. Even those we call our friends, co-workers, and employers might start withdrawing from us, and even family members too.
I have seen some situations where we males have been treated so badly and unfairly. I once witnessed a situation where a young man lost his banking job. People only stared at him, no help, and just like that, people just moved on even though this man was crying. And that situation vividly showed me the meaning of every man for himself.
Because we men cry, speak up, or open up does not mean that our strength is gone, it simply means that we are still human, like I said earlier. I just feel like we need to let out some things sometimes because if we continue to bottle it up, it will keep eating us up and will eventually result in unstable mental health, unnecessary mood change, or even depression. The society we now live in today has completely thrown away showing people how to be compassionate, even though our religion teaches us to be compassionate towards one another.
A lot of times, maybe because I always pay attention to how the people I am close with react, their moods, how they speak, and other things about them. I have seen how my fellow men withdraw sometimes, and I call them to ask what is going on without judging because I know how it feels inside sometimes. Sometimes, when we listen to what our fellow men have to say, it takes part of the burden away because they know someone cares.
In a very careful way, we men are always welcome to open up to those who will not judge us, those who we trust, because to me, someone should know what is running through our minds. And also I feel like a lot of us men keep suffering inside because there is no space where we can show vulnerability.
As a man, I do ask for help when I need one, I do not pretend that everything is alright with me when it is not, and that does not mean that I am weak. I am only human. When their is dignity towards men, when we men heals, when the society listen to us, when you teach our young boys to always show emotions, our homes, families, society, workplace and even the world will be a better place for we are only humans.
Thank you for reading.
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