Advice and wife rhyme: An ode to my wife

  When I read the new hive learners contest, I was trying to figure out some advice from a more experienced person that helped a lot. Parents? I love them but for some reason, during my younghood, their advice looked more like orders. So I prefer not to share much about my problems and concerns with them. So mostly I was a young person with lots of internal problems, which changed a bit when I started some psychotherapy. Psychotherapy is something that in my opinion everyone should try, it isn't only for "crazy people". I started to understand my problems, both professionally and personally. I used to have many fears about making new steps, and I have never had the help of someone's push to move forward most of the time. So I used to have a terrible problem with "freeze" in my life and a terrible inertia affected me. During psychotherapy sessions I learned how to start to move by myself, diagnosing myself when I was too stopped, trying to use wrong decisions or just bad things that happened as fuel to move forward to another way.

  I met my wife a little bit after I started with psychotherapy treatment, around 2 years after, it has already passed almost 16 years since then. I remember initially that it was very difficult for me since it was the first time I was really trying to have a stable relationship with someone. And since then I admit that we have fought a lot and argued about different points of view and about our life's direction.

  However, my wife has been very important in my career decisions, which also affect her life. Difficult to remember all the advice she gave me, but I guess she gave me important ones, maybe the person that gave me the best ones. I mentioned in my previous post that I had a problem with a co-worker, and she helped me with good tips and ways to deal with this person. She is more used to dealing with people since she is a lawyer. So she had thousands of co-workers, different from me a lonely scientist/programmer who every time maximum I have 2 to 3 co-workers? The main advice that I heard from her is how to establish boundaries with other people. That was difficult for me since I am a person that says ok to most things even if they bother me. But still, some tips I could implement to at least feel more comfortable with myself, the other person is still difficult to see others, but at least I started to be a little bit happier.

  Another piece of advice that she gave me was that was time to change to another job, because of this co-worker and some other people that were causing my work environment to become toxic and damaging to myself. So after some job searching I found a job, I changed my job environment and even with a similar paystub, I feel happier. I feel a peace that long, long ago I didn't feel.

  These two advice examples are just a tiny slice of everything my wife contributed with different types of advice. But for sure they changed me a lot my path but also happened to calm my inner me. From this point of view, she is a very important person in my life, even if we decide that we won't continue together that won't change.